No, not the help. A different kind of noun.
Reflecting on a few recent events, I realised that we are capable of providing different kinds of help.
There’s the help that we think we can give. It’s the story we tell ourselves so as not to make ourselves seem unkind or miserly with respect to our self image. It’s convenient, and we don’t really lose much on this, except..
There’s the help we want to give. A part of our mind knows we should probably be doing more. We tell ourselves a story to make up for the deficit – “but that other thing we want for ourselves is something we really need“. Besides…
There’s the help we think they need. This one usually ends up being the same as the first because the stories we tell ourselves are very good. But actually,
There’s the help they really need. If we think deep enough, we will know what it is. Or we could ask. But this is a lot of trouble. It takes a lot of courage to do. It’s also inconvenient. And if we can’t give it, it’s tormenting. And sometimes, even when we do give it, it will not be understood, or it will be misconstrued. But I do think that this is the story that is closest to the truth.
One perspective that our mind will bring up is about deserve. But in the words of one Princess Diana (Themyscira, not Britain), it’s not about deserve, it’s about what you believe. Whatever that might be. Be warned though, deliberate rational compassion ain’t easy.