Tag: Kerala

  • Ram Gopal Varma ka Onam

    (All charcaters in this are a product of the author’s imagination and any resemblance to anyone living/dead/missing is a product of the reader’s imagination)

    You might want to read the original story here or my earlier version …..

    Bali ruled his land with a velvet fist, in an iron glove. Though his front was that of a businessman with dairy and bee farms, his money and power came from real estate, and not all of them were totally legal transactions. But he was a fair man, and so the people of the land loved him, inspite of the cruelty of his ancestors. In fact his reign was so good, and the land so prosperous, that they started calling it God’s Own Country, where milk and honey flowed on the streets. There were critics who said that Bali was equating himself to God, but then, they were critics.

    But a man was watching him closely – a man who ruled the neighbouring area, who went by the name of Devendra Gowda, a stark contrast to Bali, who needed absolutely no front for his devious land scams. Just so that no one interfered too much in his affairs, he was an active politician too. Devendra realised that Bali’s lands were pure gold, and started thinking of ways to get it.He didnt want to have a direct confrontation with Bali, his previous experiences had taught him a lesson, so he gave Bali’s supari to a common enemy – Vishnu, an encounter specialist.

    Vishnu also had an interest in dairy farming, in fact quite a big interest. Legends had it that he had a mansion in the middle of a lake – a lake of milk. Also, Vishnu had had several encounters with Bali’s forefathers and was responsible for their deaths, but he knew Bali was a good man and didnt want his reputation to be tarnished. So he disguised himself as a newcomer tapori, and with his trademark umbrella, quickly climbed the ranks.

    Bali meanwhile, decided to have a party, complete with item number (Happy Rakhi… of course Rakhi would be happy to do it) to further his grandiose real estate plans. His khaas aadmi, a swamiji, forbade him from calling Vishnu, but Bali would have none of it. He was feeling so good about his plans that he publicly stated that he would give anyone any amount of land they asked for. And Vishnu chose that moment to walk in and demand 3 feet of land. Bali laughed, and agreed. Vishnu’s first step was on Bali’s chair. Despite counsel from his men, and inspite of penetrating Vishnu’s disguise, Bali asked him to take the next two. Vishnu next stepped on the map which had Bali’s expansion plans.With a smile, Vishnu told Bali that he had lost all his land, where would he keep his third step? Bali bowed his head, and to add insult to injury, Vishnu stepped on Bali’s head.

    And that triggered something in Bali. He decided to take a step himself – into the underworld, but with a chilling threat to Vishnu – ‘Ek na ek din, main wapas aaunga.’ And Bali’s men, taking this to heart celebrate this day every year and sing (the remix version of) “Onam ke din dil khil jaate hain…….”

    Meanwhile, Bali was a hit in the underworld..for the first time, the underworld was organised in to one entity- the B Company…..

    until next time, happy onam 😉

  • Onam

    Oh yes, very much God’s own festival… and yes, He had a major role to play in it.. Legend has it that the demon king Mahabali, who ruled over Kerala, was so good, that Indra, the king of Gods, felt a tinge of professional jealousy, a God size tinge… so he politely took an appointment with Vishnu, who had, by that time, made it a habit of rescuing Indra from all the shit he was constantly falling into.. Indra convinced Vishnu that the yajna that mahabali was conducting now was only a smokescreen, and it was part of the long term strategy to overthrow Indra…

    And so Vishnu, who knew all about the matrix, morphed himself into a brahmin lad, went to Mahabali, and asked him for three measures of land, and the measure would be His foot.. Now Mahabali, was famed for his generosity, which was king sized, and immediately agreed, inspite of advice from his spiritual guru… What he needed was a lawyer, for, like most other cases, it was the fine print that caused his downfall.. for Vishnu, just bloated himself and in his first measure took up heaven, and in the second , earth and the other planets.. i guess, by now, mahabali would have totally lost his composure, and, in response to vishnu’s query on where he should keep his third footstep, would have said ‘mere sar pe’.. vishnu, wily God that he was, did just that, and pushed Mahabali into the netherworld…

    Vishnu might have felt some pity, for he gave Mahabali permission to visit Kerala, once a year to see his subjects.. and the day he comes back, we Keralites celebrate Onam and sing our own versions of ‘Those were the days, my friend….’

    Of course, times have changed now, the Congress is ruling,and they are worse than in the times of Indra, Onam is celebrated more in UAE, America, Europe, Bangalore and other assorted places where Keralites reside in more than 3 numbers, but in spite of all that, its still Onam, and i still get a smile on my lips, even if its in memory of the good old times – yours, Mahabali, and mine too….

    until next time, happy Onam to all of you…

  • The age of innocence

    and the dream is finally over….yesterday i told my wife that this week i would be taken off from the main page, have almost understood the rediff cycle, will try a prediction on my second coming, soon.. 🙂
    since i had a 3 day weekend, lots of time for contemplation… was wondering, kids grow up very fast these days, thats only a noticed phenomenon, no practical experience…. but the things they think about and talk about, if i do a comparison to my generation’s mindshare items, i guess i would be in for a massive complex.. they do grow up faster, dont they?? and so, the age of innocence is becoming smaller…at some point of time, mentally and emotionally, we wouldnt be able to differentiate between kids and adults…another thought crossed my mind, the numerical difference between ages 20 & 40 and 70 & 90, are same, but the practicalities are so different??
    cola bashers, one for you, india has reasons for attacking Us and most of the world, coz they have WMD…. colas!!! 😉
    i read an article today in ToI, it seems arun nayar, would-be hubby of Liz Hurley (ooooomph!!), had poured hydrochloric acid in a public pool, no damages coz some pool attendants saw it, now the press is gonna skeleton hunting in cupboards…must be the result of the prayers of a few million heartbroken males, and i guess some females too 😉
    check out this feature that appeared on rediff….manu’s team ManU has just registered its first win in the league… did u know that it beat arsenal in a pre-season friendly… red devils, thats the way to march…have finished roald dahl, the guy becomes good, in an eerie way, in his later stories, so if you are buying the book, (the best of roald dahl) start from the end….theres an especially good story on adolf hitler, have to hand it to dahl, he has a way about macabreness and eeriness..hehe
    have started on “where the rain is born”, edited by anita nair (link on my medialist), its a compilation, stories, articles, poems about kerala…. so far, good…..i read a review on some book in ToI, the person who wrote the review (shit, i cant get her name, would love to do some mudslinging with the name 😉 ) writes that the particular book, though it is from an indian author, is not about kerala nostalgia, and stories swirling in mango curry…… hello, its not our fault if we happen to be a very literate state, and kinda expressive, and who manage to attract tourists consistently, and keep them happy, so that they write about it!! (ok, anger vented)now for some
    manuscrypts trivia
    all those who frequent elevators, this one’s for you
    oh copyrights-wise, its a forward 🙂
    Things to do in a Lift
    When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn’t you.
    Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock.
    Smile, and go back for more.
    Ask if you can push the buttons for other people, but push the wrong ones
    Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you’re on.
    Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”
    Hold the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend.
    After awhile, let the doors close and say, “Hi Greg. How’s your day been?”
    Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
    Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
    Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they’d like to play.
    Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.
    Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exit with the passengers.
    Ask, “Did you feel that?
    “Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally. When the doors close, announce to the others, “It’s okay. Don’t panic, they open up again.”
    Swat at flies that don’t exist.
    Tell people that you can see their aura
    Call out, “Group hug!” then enforce it.
    Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering “Shut up, all of you, just shut up!”
    Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, “Got enough air in there?”
    Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
    Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, “You’re one of THEM!” and back away slowly.
    Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
    Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope
    Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
    Grinning, stare at another passenger for a while, and then announce, “I have new socks on.”
    Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, “This is my personal space.”