• I won’t be the judge of that!

    A few days ago, S wrote to me that she was going through my old posts and was delighted to find lower caps for ‘i’ , font change for each blog and heavy and careless use of ellipses after every three sentences. The background is that in my professional life I am a stickler for error-free content. Even until a few months ago, I’d have been irritated at myself for this and despite the painful process, would have gone ahead and corrected each post! In fact, as I told her, I had even considered this once. I occasionally refer to my own posts when I’m writing new ones and once, sometime last year, I happened to read one from 2008, with all of the things that S mentioned and more! That’s probably one of the first times that I implemented something I’d been wanting to for quite a while – stop being judgmental and to be comfortable with myself – past and present.

    There’s a back story to that as well. My judgmental nature had been on an ascendant for quite a while, and coupled with a temper and wit/sarcasm, I realised that I was hurting people. As is my wont, I analysed a bit and figured that at the base of it was the fact that I was extremely unforgiving of myself. Since I drove myself to those levels, I took a higher ground and berated others when they didn’t live by those standards, across various life situations. I also understood that the work had to begin internally before I could manifest it to/on others. It wasn’t easy to forgive myself in the beginning, but I got the hang of it gradually.

    KR

    (The Kite Runner)

    This was, and continues to be, a bit tricky. How does one maintain objectivity when being kind on oneself? When does it slide into laziness? The way I deal with it is to try and understand the relative importance of an incident in the larger scheme of things. Carrying it forward to other people was a much easier task, especially when I paused for a moment and made myself understand that behind every behaviour there is a story. The challenge here is to make sure others don’t take advantage of the new found benevolence! If you’ve gotten thus far, you’d be able to handle it.

    During a recent offsite, my current boss said I was one of the most unflappable people he knew. Huge compliment, and one I totally cherished, not only because of my history in this context and therefore my progress, but also because I actually think he is one of the most composed people I’ve come across! This also allows me to bring up a related subject – praising others. One of the side effects of being harsh on myself was that I became stingy with praise. I think it was Surekha who first pointed this out to me. In Em and the Big Hoom, I saw some lovely words, and have tried to live by them.

    EATBH

    “Anything else makes you less.” That’s probably a judgment right there, but we’ll let it pass. These days, I try to praise – not for the sake of it, but by being a little more open to it. I also try not to judge. Even if I do, I keep it to myself, and make it as transient as possible. In the era of Twitter, this does become quite challenging! It is still a work in progress, and most likely will remain that way always, but I like to think that I have gained some ground. The mantra these days is

    quote-Wayne-Dyer-when-you-judge-another-you-do-not-42355

    until next time, judge dread!

  • The Tao Terraces

    The Tao Terraces has been on my radar ever since this one once commented that they serve a good Khow Suey. On the Diwali weekend, (yes, I know!) we decided to get out of our regular gastroturf i.e. Koramangala/Indiranagar and head to 1 MG, (map) which to me is the new UB City in terms of #posh. The experience at Blimey wasn’t really fantastic, and since then I tend to look at the entire mall with suspicion. But go there we did.

    We chose the seating on the ground floor, by the little pool, partly because we’d read that they only served a limited menu in the lounge on the second floor. (though when we asked whether this was true, the service staff said this was only true for the starters, and anything in the main course could be ordered upstairs as well) The seating is comfortable, and this section is dimly lit with a lot of Buddhist/South East Asian decor elements. The music is generic lounge and the overall effect is quite soothing.

    On a whim, we skipped the Dim Sum and appetisers and asked for the Spicy Tuna Maki roll, but since that wasn’t available, decided to go for the Nigiri Sushi. (salmon) On a relative scale, we’re sushi n00bs, (both of us have always felt some kind of a strange revulsion!) and didn’t really have a benchmark to compare against. I experimented with the Wasabi paste and soy sauce and found my preferred combination in the third and final attempt. I liked the texture of the fish and the overall dish and am emboldened enough to keep experimenting. We’d also asked for the Laska Lemak Malaya (Chicken) soup. Spicy, tangy, with tofu and chicken, this was probably the best dish of the day. Thoroughly enjoyed it.

    For the main course, we predictably asked for the “khau-swe” and since both of us were reasonably hungry also ordered a Wok Tossed Smoked pork and Jasmine Rice to go with it. The Burmese dish was reasonably good, though a tad too heavy for my liking. Also, the coconut flavour seemed to have come from a packet. The pork dish was quite salty with a standard smoked smell that even the jasmine rice couldn’t neutralise.

    We would’ve loved to try out the Kafir Lime Tiramisu and the Wasabi Ice Cream but we were too stuffed! In all, except for the soup, it was an average meal that cost us a bit over Rs.2400. The service was reasonably prompt, though they always had an ‘are you sure’ expression on their faces.

    collage1

    The Tao Terraces, 5th Floor, 1 MG Mall Ph: 9986988444

  • A new medium

    I haven’t taken you outside of the blog in a while, but here goes.

    LinkedIn recently opened up its publishing platform, and since it’s a contextually relevant platform to publish my ‘work’ posts, I was immediately interested. Thanks to Gautam, I discovered this link, applied, and soon got publishing rights. It was a harder task to write something though! I have finally managed something that is a differently framed version of concepts that I have written on the blog already. Do take a look here.

  • The Fiction Collection 2 (Penguin)

    This book was a little ‘Inception’ of time travel. It’s been 6.5 years since it was published and commemorates 20 years of Penguin in India. It consists of excerpts from the many works the publishing house has brought out, many of them from several years back. There were a few from books I had already read, a few by authors whose other works I was familiar with, and then there were authors and works I had never even heard of – and that’s why reading this was a wonderful experience – like rediscovering a few old friends and making new ones. 🙂

    In a few of them, I did miss the larger context, but those were a rare few. There are a few translated works too, and I was surprised by the justice they seemed to do to the original work – ‘after the hanging’ by OV Vijayan being a perfect example. The other interesting part was reading a different rendition of something I had read earlier – Indu Sundaresan’s ‘the twentieth wife’ on Mehrunnisa and Salim (the early part of which I could associate thanks to Alex Rutherford’s “Empire of the Moghul”) or Khushwant Singh’s ‘delhi’ (‘nihal singh’ is set during the first war of independence and some of the events I remember from William Dalrymple’s “The Last Mughal”)

    My other favourites included works that gave a glimpse of places as they once were – Bombay in Eunice de Souza’s “dangerlok”, (a wonderful piece of work) Delhi in Navtej Sarna’s “We weren’t lovers like that” and more tragic ones like Punjab in Neel Kamal Puri’s ‘death toll’ and Kerala in Jaishree Misra’s ‘from ancient promises’.

    The best part is that with more than 50 different works, you are practically guaranteed to find many glimpses that you’d like and might make you want to explore the canvas further. It also took me to a different era of story telling – before IITs, IIMs, call centres, urban angst with corporate backgrounds and cliched marital ‘crises’, packaged mythology and such. For all of these reasons, a must read.

  • A mind beyond auto pilot

    The world we create for ourselves, as I wrote a fortnight back, is a filtered version of all the stimuli we encounter. As we grow older, our stream of consciousness gets more populated because of our experiences and we automatically try to find patterns. That’s the brain’s basic learning process which helps us to navigate stimuli. The world though, does become complex, the navigation more difficult, and that’s probably how we slip into auto pilot.

    We think we’re conscious of the things we do, and we are, at a superficial level, but are we really mindful? The simple experiment to do, and I think I’ve written this earlier, is to re-imagine the last hour of your life. How many actions you can remember is probably an indicator of mindfulness. There’s no question that the auto pilot is useful, but I doubt we’re in actual control of the takeover, and that’s where the problem is. Our decisions and our actions become mechanical, and even when they’re not, they’re dictated by filters designed by the auto pilot.

    mindfulness2

    (via)

    But I think there is hope. One of the best 2014 trend reports I’ve seen – by Zambezi – has ‘Mindful Society’ as its first trend. While that is more a take on digital devices and our time spent on them, the JWT trend forecast has ‘Mindful Living’ as their final trend, and talks about a growing interest to experience everything in a more present, conscious way. I also think that we might have unwittingly figured out a way to start out on this. One of the hottest trends this year is the quantified self – self knowledge through numbers – it encourages people to monitor all aspects of their physical, emotional, cognitive, social, domestic and working lives. (via)

    At this point, it is more focused on the physiological aspects, and there will most likely be a deluge of devices, services and allied products that would be an end in itself. However, it is also possible that we will truly understand our body, as numbers show the impact of our behaviour and consumption, and as a result, we’ll become more mindful in our actions. And maybe, just maybe, once we’re done with that, we’ll begin trying to do the same for our mind, and the decisions it makes. It’s difficult to imagine how that will work out, I agree, but hey, even five years back, did you think something you wear on your wrist could give you analytics on your sleep patterns?

    until next time, a qualified self 🙂