Category: Social Commentary

Characteristics

There are nearly seven billion people on this planet. Each one unique, different. What are the chances of that? And why? Is it simply biology, physiology that determines this diversity? A collection of thoughts, memories, experiences that carve out our own special place? Or is it something more than this? Perhaps there’s a master plan that drives the randomness of creation, something unknowable that dwells in the soul, and presents each one of us with a unique set of challenges, that will help us discover who we really are.

We are all connected, joined together by an invisible thread, infinite in its potential and fragile in its design. Yet while connected, we are also merely individuals, empty vessels to be filled with infinite possibilities, an assortment of thoughts, beliefs, a collection of disjointed memories and experiences… Can I be me without these? Can you be you?

And if this invisible thread that holds us together were to sever, to cease, what then? What would become of billions of lone, disconnected souls? Therein lies the great quest of our lives, to find, to connect, to hold on. For when our hearts are pure, and our thoughts in line, we are all truly one, capable of repairing our fragile world, and creating a universe of infinite possibilities.

Thus spake Mohinder Suresh in”An Invisible Thread”, the season finale of ‘Heroes’.

And as if on cue, a large number of conversations and experiences popped up as conversations inside my head. Yes, those nice voices in the head. 🙂

I remembered the conversations that Mo and i keep having on the subject of identity, purpose, character and other stuff that she completely gets. Okay i get too, but muddled up. 🙂 I remembered how, when I was reading Archer’s ‘Sons of Fortune’..again, I suddenly figured out why he is my favourite author. In addition to that amazing gift of story telling he has got, its his characters, and their character. Good or bad, they seem to have a moral code. They are noble – noble heroes and noble villains. (remember that word, shall come back to it in a while) Even when they come in contact with their character’s grey areas, they have a rationale they can apply to the situation. They make you aspire for such clarity in thought and deed, in being true to themselves and their character.

Meanwhile, I see around me, a lot of young people eager to emulate – even things that I hoped would question and better. And as i keep a watch on that, I sense that they do it to belong, at any cost. They are willing to take their lessons from second hand accounts – not accounts of mistakes, which could be argued as a good thing, but enriching experiences that would shape their character. Of course, not every young person I know is like that. I also come across quite a few who have more character and maturity than many people double their age. But I do see more of the first kind. It is a different kind of conforming than what i was have seen earlier – a need to fit into their peer group’s collective terms.

On twitter and Facebook and all the services which connect us, I see this set, and more coming in every day to add to their number. And in this collective consciousness, I glimpse the desperation in the need to belong at any cost – even at the cost of a character that is still being formed. A shared identity and a strong character, can it co exist? I wonder, if in this age of possibilities, they will be satisfied with this belonging, I also hope that they will not wake up, one day, years later and rue this conformity that they created for themselves.

And then, I remember what a smart young lady from that age group once told me “Manu, this is so archaic. Only you could use the word ‘noble’ in conversation”. So, I wonder whether there is something in this connectedness that I don’t understand, whether the ‘plan’ requires all kinds of characters – with or without a strong character, to maintain the balance, or whether the kind of disconnectedness that I’m feeling now is one that characterises that thing we all do – ageing. 🙂

until next time, time for adages?

June 30, 2009
Ends and beginnings

Work took me someplace where I normally wouldn’t be found – an AOL (Art Of Living) discourse. While I have nothing against those who choose that path, I don’t see myself there. Standing there, as a non participant while a few thousand listened and performed yoga, I thought I got a few pointers to what made them a part of this movement. One was a feeling of belonging to a community that had the same wavelength and subscribed to the same thought processes and the other was a meaning, a purpose that the movement gave to their life.

Since it was an official event, I got dropped back at home, and in the process got to do something that i rarely get to do – forget the road, the traffic and the world ahead and soak in the effect of humanity passing by. I don’t know if you enjoy what could be uncharitably labelled gawking, but if you pause and consider that each face, and each expression contains a story, maybe you’d enjoy it like you do.

I passed Resthouse Road on the way, and saw Pecos and Guzzler’s Inn, not places I frequent, but places that are ‘tagged’ in my memories of Bangalore from the time I came here. As i proceeded down Brigade Road, i also saw the signage of Vaayu, a lounge bar, and thought I could see a difference in the crowd that each catered to. I realised that after a while, after a few generations had passed, Bangalore’s character most likely wouldn’t include Pecos, although we would, in our denial of mortality, not think of it that way now.

I reached home, and after the obligatory channel flipping settled down to Rocky Balboa, the comfort of a ‘seen before many times’ movie that will let your thoughts drift and you still wouldn’t feel left out. I never thought I’d quote from a Rocky movie, but it seemed to fit in

Ya know they always say if you live in one place long enough, you are that place.

It stuck to me when I watched Delhi 6 the next evening. An old woman comes back to her country-city-locality to die in peace, in a place that she’s familiar and comfortable with, and finds that the place has remained unchanged, but the people haven’t. And it took me back to this post that I had written a while back – on Cochin and the cosmopolitan place it was becoming.

So, where will I be comfortable finally – Bangalore, where I have now spent 6 years (almost to the day) and where I will (at some point in time) have lived long enough to ‘be the place’, Cochin, which I refuse to let go of, whose memories I guard like a treasure- the chaotic, humid, gets-on-your-nerves place that I consider my home, or someplace new that the cosmos has in store for me. A place which gives me a sense of belonging. A set of people who matter to me and who I matter to. And that’s where this stream of consciousness ends.

The cosmos is listening. From the list of 143 songs in the list, on ‘shuffle’ mode, it has suddenly chosen Daughtry’s Home.

until next time, are we on the same home page? 🙂

April 3, 2009
In tolerance

In the large world there are those who can’t tolerate people playing cricket in their country, who can’t tolerate others celebrating Valentine’s Day, who can’t tolerate women going to pubs, who can’t tolerate intolerance and will therefore send pink chaddis, who can’t tolerate losses and will therefore distribute pink slips, who can’t tolerate being called idiots and will send legal notices, and so on.

In the smaller world, there are those who can’t tolerate getting stuck in traffic, who can’t tolerate waiting in the queue in a multiplex ticket counter, who can’t tolerate lesser intelligence in others, who can’t tolerate not getting a call back within 5 seconds of the other person missing a call, who can’t tolerate the slowness of the elevator, who can’t tolerate the tardiness of restaurant staff and so on.

The larger world tries to hide agendas behind the intolerance, individuals are dispensable. The smaller world tries to hide intolerance behind their daily agendas, the rest of the world is dispensable. Society that is failing the individual, or individuals who’re failing society?

until next time, just a rant.. be tolerant 🙂

March 24, 2009
One of an unkind 😐

We met an acquaintance when we’d gone for a movie last weekend. During the interval, he bought two large colas – one for him and his wife, and one for us. For reasons I considered valid (only one of which was that I considered the thing addictive and didn’t want to tempt myself at the beginning of the summer) I had to say no – a thanks but.. polite no at first to a curt no finally. When the movie ended, he walked out, one cola stilled clutched, and a sheepish smile thrown at us. I felt very uncomfortable, more so because I didn’t really know him and didn’t explain to him why i said no. I had, with my silence, rebuffed, what was a nice gesture from him.

I hurried back to catch ‘Boston Legal’, and it was as though the cosmos wanted to rub it in. One of the cases under trial in the episode was that of a sorority expelling a member because she was socially awkward. The interesting part was that lawyers on both sides were essentially very nice people…. with personality disorders. Jerry, who appears on behalf of the sorority president has Asperger syndrome, and uses another personality to overcome his awkwardness and Clarence, who appears for the defendant, has multiple personalities, each of which is a defense against more aggressive people. Though I supported the member – Marcie Cooper, who I felt was wronged, I found Jerry’s closing extremely touching

College is also about preparing students for the outside world. Last time I checked, it’s pretty tough out there. There’s the old adage, “Nice guys finish last.” There’s some truth to that. I happen to know opposing counsel is a fundamentally kind man. Sensitive. He chose to exploit my Asperger’s syndrome to win this case.

My very best friend, a lawyer I had a case against not too long ago, he, too, exploited my Asperger’s. He’s a very good man, who opted for cruelty as a strategy.

If Marcie Cooper comes out of this experience thinking that people can be cruel—even the kind, sensitive
ones—if she’s learned that she will be judged not simply on merit, or the content of her character, but on how she looks and socializes with others, she’s gotten an education, one that will serve her in life. This is a free society. People get to choose their friends, clubs get to choose their members. Sometimes it’s very ugly and unfair. That’s . . . life.

And I could imagine how the kind sensitive ones could be cruel. Perhaps its the result of a majority of humanity taking advantage of their kindness and sensitivity, or being insensitive to it, or trampling their kind acts and emotions in the races they run, or laughing at what would be deemed their idiocy.

And I wondered- in educating children for life, will parents have enough time and patience for teaching their children the importance of being humane, while still instilling in them the smartness that would enable them to know when someone takes advantage of them? Or will they choose the easy way out and teach them to be rude, to unfairly demand, to snatch by might irrespective of right? And create a race of inhuman beings who wouldn’t spare a thought for those who are perhaps not as strong as them – physically, emotionally or in terms of social skills.

I’m no angel, but i try to prevent my own unkindness. I usually ask myself “how would I feel in the other person’s shoes”, but there are some situations when for some reason, I cannot adhere to my own rule. I feel very guilty on such occasions, because I feel that through that act I might have started a chain. Someday soon, I hope to make it up to that acquaintance, for I am sorry. I truly am.

until next time, transactions in kind

March 10, 2009
World Views

Sometime back, a work related trip took me to two completely different worlds in the same city – one, a software giant’s well designed campus, and the other, a market area. I’ve been in Bangalore now for 6 years now, but still can’t claim familiarity with a lot of places.

The tech park was exactly as I had pictured it, from the large amount of written matter dedicated to it regularly in newspapers. Large and well laid out, with its own studio, food courts and bustling with activity. The activity is not techies just slaving in front of monitors, though I am sure that happens inside too, but having animated conversations over cups of coffee, cycling between building blocks, discussing a cultural activity happening in the next few days, and some even watching the world go by.

Gandhi Bazaar isn’t exactly the most written about place in newspapers, probably because its residents are not as appealing to the readers of the newspapers I read. But it is bustling nevertheless – the granny in the bullock cart surrounded by flowers, multitudes of roadside sellers, trading everything from vegetables to fancy jewelry to toys to clothes, a lot of happy, smiling faces drifting in and out of shops. I saw faces that just blended into the surroundings and others that didn’t perhaps belong there. (like me) From where I stood watching, I couldn’t see any branded outlets around that I recognised, but in the vicinity you could get the best coffee and masala dosa. Pleasures of a different kind, but great ones nevertheless. Anything more would sound condescending.

These are two worlds separated by a few kilometres, but almost isolated from each other, both worlds unto themselves, oblivious to each other, except for the few who occupy both. I can imagine the young local huduga who is now a techie and handles both worlds with ease. I feel happy for him, and hope he realises how lucky he is to be part of both these worlds – one that helps him stay grounded and the other that helps him fly high.

One planet, so many different worlds, and so many different stories. A lifetime wouldn’t be enough to experience. This thought created a sense of deja vu, and sure enough, a search yielded this post. I guess the lessons of Nude Ellie are seeing a change of perspective.

until next time, deja view 🙂

March 3, 2009