Category: Social Commentary

  • In tolerance

    In the large world there are those who can’t tolerate people playing cricket in their country, who can’t tolerate others celebrating Valentine’s Day, who can’t tolerate women going to pubs, who can’t tolerate intolerance and will therefore send pink chaddis, who can’t tolerate losses and will therefore distribute pink slips, who can’t tolerate being called idiots and will send legal notices, and so on.

    In the smaller world, there are those who can’t tolerate getting stuck in traffic, who can’t tolerate waiting in the queue in a multiplex ticket counter, who can’t tolerate lesser intelligence in others, who can’t tolerate not getting a call back within 5 seconds of the other person missing a call, who can’t tolerate the slowness of the elevator, who can’t tolerate the tardiness of restaurant staff and so on.

    The larger world tries to hide agendas behind the intolerance, individuals are dispensable. The smaller world tries to hide intolerance behind their daily agendas, the rest of the world is dispensable. Society that is failing the individual, or individuals who’re failing society?

    until next time, just a rant.. be tolerant šŸ™‚

  • One of an unkind šŸ˜

    We met an acquaintance when we’d gone for a movie last weekend. During the interval, he bought two largeĀ  colas – one for him and his wife, and one for us. For reasons I considered valid (only one of which was that I considered the thing addictive and didn’t want to tempt myself at the beginning of the summer) I had to say no – a thanks but.. polite no at first to a curt no finally. When the movie ended, he walked out, one cola stilled clutched, and a sheepish smile thrown at us. I felt very uncomfortable, more so because I didn’t really know him and didn’t explain to him why i said no. I had, with my silence, rebuffed, what was a nice gesture from him.

    I hurried back to catch ‘Boston Legal’, and it was as though the cosmos wanted to rub it in. One of the cases under trial in the episode was that of a sorority expelling a member because she was socially awkward. The interesting part was that lawyers on both sides were essentially very nice people…. with personality disorders. Jerry, who appears on behalf of the sorority president has Asperger syndrome, and uses another personality to overcome his awkwardness and Clarence, who appears for the defendant, has multiple personalities, each of which is a defense against more aggressive people. Though I supported the member – Marcie Cooper, who I felt was wronged, I found Jerry’s closing extremely touching

    College is also about preparing students for the outside world. Last time I checked, itā€™s pretty tough out there. Thereā€™s the old adage, ā€œNice guys finish last.ā€ Thereā€™s some truth to that. I happen to know opposing counsel is a fundamentally kind man. Sensitive. He chose to exploit my Aspergerā€™s syndrome to win this case.

    My very best friend, a lawyer I had a case against not too long ago, he, too, exploited my Aspergerā€™s. Heā€™s a very good man, who opted for cruelty as a strategy.

    If Marcie Cooper comes out of this experience thinking that people can be cruelā€”even the kind, sensitive
    onesā€”if sheā€™s learned that she will be judged not simply on merit, or the content of her character, but on how she looks and socializes with others, sheā€™s gotten an education, one that will serve her in life. This is a free society. People get to choose their friends, clubs get to choose their members. Sometimes itā€™s very ugly and unfair. Thatā€™s . . . life.

    And I could imagine how the kind sensitive ones could be cruel. Perhaps its the result of a majority of humanity taking advantage of their kindness and sensitivity, or being insensitive to it, or trampling their kind acts and emotions in the races they run, or laughing at what would be deemed their idiocy.

    And I wondered- in educating children for life, will parents have enough time and patience for teaching their children the importance of being humane, while still instilling in them the smartness that would enable them to know when someone takes advantage of them? Or will they choose the easy way out and teach them to be rude, to unfairly demand, to snatch by might irrespective of right? And create a race of inhuman beings who wouldn’t spare a thought for those who are perhaps not as strong as them – physically, emotionally or in terms of social skills.

    I’m no angel, but i try to prevent my own unkindness. I usually ask myself “how would I feel in the other person’s shoes”, but there are some situations when for some reason, I cannot adhere to my own rule. I feel very guilty on such occasions, because I feel that through that act I might have started a chain. Someday soon, I hope to make it up to that acquaintance, for I am sorry. I truly am.

    until next time, transactions in kind

  • World Views

    Sometime back, a work related trip took me to two completely different worlds in the same city – one, a software giant’s well designed campus, and the other, a market area. I’ve been in Bangalore now for 6 years now, but still can’t claim familiarity with a lot of places.

    The tech park was exactly as I had pictured it, from the large amount of written matter dedicated to it regularly in newspapers. Large and well laid out, with its own studio, food courts and bustling with activity. The activity is not techies just slaving in front of monitors, though I am sure that happens inside too, but having animated conversations over cups of coffee, cycling between building blocks, discussing a cultural activity happening in the next few days, and some evenĀ  watching the world go by.

    Gandhi Bazaar isn’t exactly the most written about place in newspapers, probably because its residents are not as appealing to the readers of the newspapers I read. But it is bustling nevertheless – the granny in the bullock cart surrounded by flowers, multitudes of roadside sellers, trading everything from vegetables to fancy jewelry to toys to clothes, a lot of happy, smiling faces drifting in and out of shops. I saw faces that just blended into the surroundings and others that didn’t perhaps belong there. (like me)Ā  From where I stood watching, I couldn’t see any branded outlets around that I recognised, but in the vicinity you could get the best coffee and masala dosa. Pleasures of a different kind, but great ones nevertheless. Anything more would sound condescending.

    These are two worlds separated by a few kilometres, but almost isolated from each other, both worlds unto themselves, oblivious to each other, except for the few who occupy both. I can imagine the young local huduga who is now a techie and handles both worlds with ease. I feel happy for him, and hope he realises how lucky he is to be part of both these worlds – oneĀ  that helps him stay grounded and the other that helps him fly high.

    One planet, so many different worlds, and so many different stories.Ā  A lifetime wouldn’t be enough to experience. This thought created a sense of deja vu, and sure enough, a search yielded this post. I guess the lessons of Nude Ellie are seeing a change of perspective.

    until next time, deja view šŸ™‚

  • The India concept

    Ok, so maybe its not a concept to be questioned, but what’s the point in having a blog if i cant discuss what i want. Considering the effect it had on a couple of friends, I am expecting much angst.

    To begin with, let me make it clear that the idea of India still finds much appeal in my emotional side. I like the vastness and uniqueness of it all, and the fact that we have a shared history. But unfortunately, it doesn’t find favor these days in my logical side. I feel that we have created an entity that has become way tooĀ  large to handle for anyone. The events in Mumbai and a federal agency having to enter the fray added to this belief. No, the resignation of two ministers at the state level doesn’t quite capture the responsibility that the state/city administration should’ve taken on.

    Even though I keep in mind the fact that I dont need a passport or a visa to go to Goa or Rohtang, everything from the fuss over the TN number plates in Bangalore, to the language barriers, from the fact that my Kerala voter’s id is of no use in Bangalore, to the ‘Madrasi’ caricature in Bollywood, gives me the feeling that we’re just a forced conglomerate of states. And then we elect a couple of houses of MPs, from these states, so that the Communists, who can barely form the government in 2 states, play spoilsport to a nuclear deal. We form a central government which helps the state governments say that just about nothing is their responsibility. Once upon a time, we’d everything from shared memories to Doordarshan to give us a semblance of common identity. Do we have that now? And that’s when i ask, whether the gains from the concept of India are really more than the losses.

    If each state had more responsibility than a Central government, a mandate of taking care of itself – security, finance, infrastructure and so on, wouldn’t we have more accountability to governance, an accountability which can then be better put to use at local levels. My friend said that this has nothing to do with scale, but I think that by just being such a vast entity, we are actually laying ourselves open to divisions. Like the SMS forward I saw ‘Politicians divide us, terrorists unite us’. And meanwhile, Mumbai perhaps has a few more weeks before it gets into the archives sections, with hardly any retaliation or concrete action to be shown for the trauma.

    I agree that a discussion here won’t change anything, but humour me, what do you think?

    until next time, state your view

  • Dead Ends

    Ever since I saw Via Darjeeling, I’ve had this thought. In every movie that I’ve seen, the hero has to be victorious at the end. The villain never wins.

    Of course, there are movies with tragic endings, where the hero dies in the end, but its always due to life circumstances than the villain in particular. Also, in Bollywood multi starrer movies of yore, whenever the number of heroines was lesser than the heroes, one hero was destined to die somewhere before the end. Sholay like scenarios, where its technically impossible for the hero and heroine to get hitched, are also included in this. There are also side heroes who end up martyrs. Add to this, the various instances of heroine/brother/mother/ human friend/ dog friend etc taking revenge on the villainĀ  (the last one was specifically included for Teri Meherbaniyan) and you never see the villain win. Anti heroes always have a justification.

    We obviously don’t have a problem with unhappy endings. There are umpteen number of films that have become hits thanks to the hero’s tragic death in the end. So what makes films shy away from endings with a triumphant villain? Is it a self created rule to make sure that good always wins in good vs evil? Because people watch films as an escape from real life, and cannot digest real life on reel life? Why can’t we digest endings where a villain wins?

    So will you pay to watch a movie where the villain wins in the end, or will you stay away because you’d feel cheated with such an ending? How about books with this theme?

    until next time, know any exceptions?

    PS. Bollywood/Hollywood (like say, Arlington Road), I can’t handle subtitled stuff šŸ˜