Shaantam

A thought that I’ve received for the second time – the first time was during a yoga class, and this time, it was thanks to the book I just finished reading – ‘Mistress’, by Anita Nair, as one of the navarasas that come into play in dance art forms – in this case Kathakali.

Detachment. Freedom. An absence of desire. A coming to terms with life. When all is done, that is all we all aspire to. Shaantam.

Now, I’ll not be presumptuous and claim that it applies to all, but it definitely does to me. For a while now, even before learning to articulate it, that has been a task I’d set for myself. The rough aim for me was to be comfortable with myself, and be as emotionless as possible with the judgments of others on my self and actions. I’ve had more failures than successes, but I’m learning. Learning that this state has to be acquired over a period of time. Learning that it can be done only in stages because there are things that one has to do to merely sustain the self in this world. Learning that there are responsibilities. Learning that there’s a time for everything, even for coming to terms with life.

But for me, the revelation to me in that explanation was the word ‘absence’, while most of  my thoughts and actions had been done to suppress. There is a huge difference.

The cold and cough that has been plaguing me for the last week made me go for an antibiotic. While it did its work on the trouble makers, the side effect was that my taste buds were rendered inactive. So, though I had a great dinner on Saturday, the desire that used to precede the regular weekend dinners was conspicuous by its absence. I read it as another signal – that the absence of desire is not to be achieved by frontal assaults meant to suppress it. That does more harm than good. The absence is merely a side effect of something far larger in scale, changes in the greater canvass of life, a gradual cleansing process. I shall start again. 🙂

until next time, merry xmas, and I shall see you next on the first day of the new year

7 thoughts on “Shaantam

  1. Hmm ! Year end Shaantam ! Lovely read. And especially so, becacuse i have been going through something like this too. And yes..absence is not equal to suppression ! And it does make a world of a difference.

    I am indeed glad that you are learning. And staying aware of learning. Speed of growth and such other incidentals tend to dominate what is called ‘mainstream’.

    I told my friend the other day…if that is the mainstream, i would be content being a rivulet !

    wishing you a fabulous christmas, and a great beginning for the new year ! It wonderful knowing you…virtually !

  2. Very nicely written indeed !

    And yes absence of desire is so very different from suppression of it. one is absolute while the other one is relative.

    And if we take the vedic ‘Four Ashrams of Life’ paradigm to what you are saying then the “Detachment. Freedom. An absence of desire ” you speak of would be a definitive feature of the last two stages i.e. “Vanaprastha” & “Sannyasa”.

    Which are preceded by the first two stages during which we partake knowledge, make mistakes and learn & handle domestic responsibilities, but at every step probably longing for that ever elusive ‘contentment’ 🙂

    So I guess an awareness of ones position on this sprituo-physical continuum does indeed give us a hint on the questions of the right time to come to terms with life.

    Or maybe I am being way too arrogant in pretending to understand the circle of life as a decision chart with 4 key decision stages :-)) … in which case I submit my most humble apology !

    Either ways … a terrific piece that got me thinking on things that I LOVE thinking about in any case ! … So thank you 🙂 …

    Suketu

    P.S. : Wishing you a merry christmas & an even merrier 2009 !

  3. suketu: which then raises the question whether this understanding (the cycles and a time for everything) helps, and also if it makes sense to bypass? thanks for the comment, and hope you have a great 2009 🙂

    arunima: hope you had a great one too 🙂

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