Some would say kids are spoilt these days. I’m not going there, but kids are definitely spoilt for choice when it comes to chasing their interests, academic pressures notwithstanding. But what’s a deep interest and what’s a fad? What’s a passion and what is a routine that has overstayed its welcome?
I thought it was an excellent reminder that not all childhood interests need to become lifelong pursuits. Maybe a reminder for adults too – both influencers suffering burnouts as well as us standard mortals. For those interests that are staying beyond their shelf lives, and for those that haven’t seen the light of day, because they are dictated by habit/self image/identity?
I wrote this on LinkedIn in the context of a Hyundai ad that ended with “Never give up on finding what you love. There’s joy in every journey.”
The ad reminded me of the various things that have been part of my life. To begin with, music, which survived the death of others in that era – quizzing and cricket. I learnt Carnatic music for close to a decade, and was told several times by teachers and classmates’ parents that I should take it seriously. But it fell away at some point.
Later in life, when I had been blogging for a while, I was told by some that I should try my hand at writing a book. I used to tell them that I wanted to avoid the UNO Reverse question – why did you write a book! I did ask that (in my own head) about many bloggers turned writers. Still later, courtesy one-liners on Twitter, it became “why don’t you try stand up?” More recently, a friend asked me if I had considered writing movie scripts.
It also reminded me of something I had written a few years ago while on the subject of image and identity. I had made a simple 2X2 matrix of talents (1% highest and 99% rest) vs expectations (1% low expectations and 99% high expectations). Objectively speaking, I know I wasn’t a 1% (talent) in any of these. But in real life, it is more complicated.
James Clear once wrote, “You can either be judged because you created something or ignored because you left your greatness inside of you. Your call.” Greatness is an assumption when you start, and with every decision one takes to reach the 1%, some possibilities will die. Isn’t the bittersweetness and melancholic joy of “what might have been” much more enjoyable? Ask Advani, who came to be called the “former future Prime Minister of India”.
I could ask myself – “how would you know unless you tried?” There are at least two answers that are common across the interests. To get to the 1% talent (as acknowledged by a lot of others, and keep bettering oneself) requires a lot of hard work, and to meet that 99% of high expectations needs a ton of luck. Is that really worth it? The other reason is that though difficult to decipher, I am supremely shy and introverted. I don’t think I have the grit to overcome rejection.
A version of that is how I answered my friend. These days, I find a lot of comfort in small groups and real relationships. Where I can just be, with no judgment. I love making people laugh, and thankfully, I am able to do that quite a bit. Even a professional standup artist, on a rare occasion. Earlier today, we had an impromptu long chat with our neighbour’s parents, who were visiting, while the neighbours went for their son’s PTM. And I made the two silvers laugh too, when meeting them after a decade! Kaumpromise happened again earlier this year – same place, larger set of people. Why would I want to scale something wonderful like that and attract the attention of a potentially judgmental larger crowd who have zero love for me, the person and will treat me as a ‘performer’? I gave my friend the example of my layered Sharmaoji pun. Exactly one person (on Insta) got it/found it funny. But it was a joy to create it.
If I go by my fundamental objectives hypothesis – FML (Fame, Money, Love), I am now mostly motivated only by the last one. The other two have been the journey of my life thus far, something I have chronicled in detail on this blog. But now I am finding journeys that give me joy. Like reading and reading and reading. Like sitting in our balcony and listening to music as the sun clocks out for the day. Like endlessly planning our travels. Like making people laugh and forget their troubles for even a moment. Like writing this blog that only a handful people read. Like making D’s days easier and happier. I think those small hills I wrote about half a dozen years ago, are beginning to take shape. And to end where we started from, I am able to easily tell myself “You are not talentless, you just fell in love with comfort.” (hat tip: Orange Book on Twitter)
P.S. It’s not the destination, it’s not the journey, it’s the company.
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