The Presentation of Selfie in Everyday Life

I will get to that “weird” title in a bit, but two things triggered this post. The first is the number of people urging, well, other people, to watch “The Social Dilemma”. Quite amazing. Especially considering how much of this advice is on WhatsApp groups. All I’ll say is, well done Facebook. Not to mention the irony of watching it on Netflix, which as I tweeted, is quite a paragon of virtue when it comes to behavioural manipulation. The second is the connection to the “Occult of Personality” – something I posted a few weeks ago. While the second order consequences on an algorithmically driven landscape was worrying, I realised that celebrities and “leaders” getting professionals to manage their social media presence was only a second order consequence of how they behaved as people on social platforms.  I also realised that this was in essence an early stage of algorithms dictating humans. Because who’s really in control when you’re always “appearing” as opposed to being?

That provides a good context to the title, which is a bit of a wordplay on an excellent book that was written many decades ago – The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life. The author Erving Goffman uses the metaphor of a theatrical performance to explore the nuances and interplay that occur in practically every interaction we have. A deep analysis of “All the world’s a stage” and the “performances”  we give everyday to guide others’ impression of us. “Shelf worth’ on Zoom calls is a recent example. Goffman uses “backstage” as a space where we can be true to ourselves, and not be putting on an act. These days, thanks to the ubiquity of the mobile phone and social media, “backstage” is shrinking. And thus the title.

Because we’re busy scrolling, and judging others and ourselves, and putting on a show. Leading to never-ending validation cycles that include feelings of inadequacy and envy. Once upon a time, there was happiness about something we did/experienced. As I wrote in Peak Abstraction, maybe, as we continue posturing, we will reach a stage when our signalling of happiness and its effect on others will become our measure of our own happiness. Or maybe it has already happened. Thanks to the highlight reels as presented on Facebook/Instagram/WhatsApp, things have escalated far beyond Keeping up with the Joneses. After all, with social media, everyone is a neighbour/friend, and as Gore Vidal famously said, “Every time a friend succeeds, I die a little.

Evolution has hardwired envy in us. In the early stages of human evolution, because we were competing for resources and mates, it was an important tool that ensured we adapted, survived, and passed the gene to the next generation. Has it changed a lot, if we look at dating, jobs, promotion etc? Probably not. But it depends on whether we consider these as necessary for survival, and whether we think of them as zero-sum “games”. Journeys inward are tough, but ultimately satisfying. Asking the self about happiness is one such. Understanding it, and being able to influence yourself would be quite an amazing feat in the age of influencers! Looking evolution in the eye, and overturning its effect is also a good way to show respect.

(in context, a wonderful short film I discovered on, wait for it, social media!) 😉

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