Tag: Ego

  • Egonomy

    One of the reasons why I liked Gary more than the other two judges in Masterchef was that he played a perfect balance – maintaining that certain amount of gravitas that his role demanded while regularly showing that he really didn’t seem to take himself that seriously.

    The best example of that was the show before the finals when there was a role reversal and the judges cooked while the contestants judged. Not only did he take part in some delightful banter, but his reaction when the ‘judges’ found a bone in his dish (strict no-no) was completely priceless.

    Mind you, as the accomplishments and the episodes of MasterClass would show you, Gary is damn good at what he does. And yet, its as though he has not allowed any of that to touch him. Which leads me to the thought I’m pondering over – is the lack of ego a function of having complete faith in oneself? If, for a moment, we leave aside the argument that a ‘certain amount of ego’ is necessary for living out this life, is the thought plausible? If the faith in self is absolute, will the ego have no reason to exist or will it completely take over since it has all the reason to exist?

    until next time, egologic

  • Race Trace

    Anything is possible when you are young. Then you get older and the thing about getting older is that you don’t need everything to be possible anymore, you just need some things to be certain.

    For some reason, this line from Brick Lane (movie) stayed with me. Age might be a number, but we are alive for a finite time frame, and therefore it has its own significance. I think, more than age itself, it is to do with motivation. There does seem to be some relationship between age and motivation levels. Of course that’s quite a generic and simplistic statement, since there are many subjective factors that play important roles.

    At different stages we’ve different short term purposes. What these then also manage to give are specific motivations. From getting good grades to the bigger car to the fancy vacation and everything in between. Sometimes they serve as motivation and sometimes as means to the motivation. To reach somewhere or to remain somewhere. Sometimes we run the world’s race, sometimes we run our own.  In both cases, there is a certain amount of hard work that goes into the race. We can bring luck into this context, but I wouldn’t still like to trivialise the effect of one’s efforts. Like I wrote a while back, in the context of my friend R, it is difficult to grudge a person his success when you realise the toil that has gone into it. I read this excellent speech delivered by Yahoo co-founder Jerry Yang delivered about a year back, which dwells on efforts and doing what you love.

    But I’ve also seen that sometimes the efforts are made and the results don’t show. Maybe it has to do with the direction or the efforts themselves or maybe its to do with perseverance. What does one, them motivate the self with? I’ve also noticed, from experience,  that when one resets one’s ‘race’, and tries to figure out a purpose outside the parameters of routine and conditioning, motivation is quite a tough job.  A bit like trying to find an answer to a question you don’t clearly know. Motivation is after all, dependent on the purpose. Thankfully, there’s something else that Hugh MacLeod has captured beautifully.

    unfulfilled potential

    The mind can will itself to be free of others’ expectations, but can it hold its own against the ego, which has expectations of the self. The fear – if that goes, what motivation exists? Except for the need ‘for some things to be certain.’ And that somehow is existing, and not living?

    until next time, track shuffle?

  • The egoism that lurks…

    Sometime back, our yoga instructor spoke to us about the importance of forgiving. While most of it I agreed with, there was one part where I thought i’d a different point of view. She said that forgiving was possible only if the ego had been eliminated (for all practical purposes). My point of view (which unfortunately i didnt have time to express) was that ego was inherent in forgiving, showing that the forgiver is in a higher plane than the one forgiven. But I am assuming that the teaching was fine, there must be a kind of forgiving I am not aware of…yet.

    The same kind of thoughts assailed me, when i read this post by mathatheist, where she wrote about charity. (you must subscribe to her daily musings, a wonderful read everyday) She wrote about the need for love (as opposed to pity) in charity. I am in agreement with the role of intent in everything that we do. Intent is what will drive everything else. To be fair to self, I have negligible thoughts of pity in any act of charity. The way i have driven it away is via a simple thought – I imagine someone I love, struck with a fate that the beneficiary has, and compassion replaces pity. I believe there’s a difference between the two. But the compassion is tinged with an enemy that is not so easy to dispose of – the ego. It shows its presence with a smirk and an unhealthy, unnecessary reminder to myself that I’m in a position to donate something (however insignificant it might be) for a cause. But I am assuming that the acts are fine, here must be a state of compassion without the ego, that I am not aware of…yet

    until next time, to land the ego….

    PS. any Ayn Rand fan here? Egosim is an important part of her Objectivism philosophy, which i am otherwise a fan of 😐

  • The real inflation

    And the nation cringes as the inflation goes way beyond 8%, and threatens to go even more. A litre of petrol, which was about Rs.20, when i first started using it, now costs well over Rs.50.
    I remember the kind of vehicles that used to accompany mine in the petrol stations. A few Ambassadors and Fiats, on their way to extinction, a lot of Maruti- the normal 800 as well as Omnis and the occasional Esteem, and mostly two wheelers. The scene has changed with global brands vying for the customer’s attention. So we have the Hyundais and Fords and Chevrolets and Skodas bringing out bigger and costlier cars that are aimed to showcase its user’s affluence and highlight his standing, which is er, a little above that of his peers.?
    Of course, the way he behaves on the road would make you doubt this premise.I have very often, in the course of conversations, heard the owners of the big cars complaining about how their cars guzzle fuel. And how they feel the pressure when the petrol prices go up. And i have always wondered that even if we manage to control inflation, will we ever find a way to control inflated egos.

    until next time, pricks… for the ego

  • The Travel Bug

    All the travelogues, all the travel programming on TV, and all the photos on image sharing platforms- I’ve read them all as messages, but never picked up the bags and set about travelling regularly. Now, i can give operational excuses, but i also know that those are not the real ones. For quite sometime now, I’ve had a block in my head, but could never decipher it myself. And the worst part is that it wasnt always like this. While i’ve never been a travel freak, i’ve never shied away from it either.

    It took Nude Ellie to give me an insight into this bug. The first and easiest insight is that i am incredibly lazy. Even that trip might not have happened if it werent official :). And it is perhaps only fitting that it was an office space that gave me a thought.

    I’ve realised that travel necessarily means meeting new people. And not just meet, but also see large amounts of humanity that i may not meet, but faces that i know exist. In this case, floors and floors of cubicle farms.

    Now this might sound weird to many, but that to me, is a bit like those starlit nights. And while i love staring up at the sky, I’ve slowly built up a revulsion to the other thing that evokes in me a feeling of insignificance, a feeling that i haven’t done anything to be truly special.Ego/ Frustration? Or plain old existential angst?

    until next time, wanderbust?