• Blogalisation

    wonderful to see that a lot of my league members are getting hot and sizzled up – started with blues, then it was w-bug and now its simon..and ahem,(just for the old trumpet’s sake) readers please note that mera number aaaya tha, but no, i am not getting in to the ‘been there, done that’ spiel, my ego will not permit it…hehe
    but damn, am i a lucky charm or what!!…no i am not, :), coz they are extraordinary bloggers anyway and linked by a lot of others. which is why i believe that rediff’s modus operandi of classification, if they do follow any, is totally devoid of bias, and certainly not like what happens in ToI…hehe..plus, i can truly rely on it as a source for my league additions, more often than not…’hot and sizzling’..i like this kinda blogal warming…:)
    but (yeah, unfortunately, theres always a but), on a more general level, i do hope that the ‘blog’ kind of social interaction does not go the way that everything else seems to be going..getiing a price tag attached…. some time ago, i would have laughed if someone told me that i would be buying packaged drinking water, now i fully believe that oxygen and feelings that i consider beyond the range of money like love, hate and many others , will become fully commercialised by the time i see 2010….
    and therefore why should blogging be any different?.. it is only a matter of time before some ass clowns realise the commercial value of a weblog..and if we say that ultimately we can stop it because we are the users, i wouldnt agree coz the same holds true for water…
    but yes, we can try, and so guys, on june 9th, international bloggers day, let us try to keep the grass green, the sky blue and the air free in our virtual community, burn the commercialisation bridge when we come to it and preserve blogalisation in the free form it enjoys now….
    in manuscrypts trivia
    another good fwd,
    We all know those cute little computer symbols called “emoticons”,
    where:
    🙂 means a smile and
    🙁 is a frown.
    Sometimes these are represented by 🙂 and 🙁 respectively.
    Well, how about some “assicons”? Here goes:
    (_!_) a regular ass
    (__!__) a fat ass
    (!) a tight ass
    (_*_) a sore ass
    {_!_} a swishy ass
    (_o_) an ass that’s been around
    (_x_) kiss my ass
    (_X_) leave my ass alone
    (_zzz_) a tired ass
    (_E=mc2_) a smart ass
    (_$_) Money coming out of his ass
    (_?_) Dumb Ass

    till next time, keep the faith and the blogal harmony….
    P.S. hope archies doesnt release a card for international webloggers day!!
    and please use Post Scrypts and not the rediff comments box

  • One on One with The One – Part One

    One day on chat, a window popped up …….
    G: Hi there, did u call me?
    M: who r u? dont remember calling anyone..
    G: heard you praying to me, thought i’d come over and chat…
    M: nice line, but how do i know who u r ?
    G: ha! just about sums up the state of humanity… they see me all around and still question my existence!! but just to prove a point, you saw that image of keira knightley and wished…(lost connection)
    connection resumes
    G: and wished that
    M: ok ok i am a believer!!
    G: men are so easy ;), hey, nowadays, you rarely think about me
    M: are you a woman?
    G: does it matter? but why do you ask?
    M: oh, just the general tone of the conversation. but yeah, you are right, the personal rapport with you has kinda lessened..
    G: dont worry, its only human..
    M: i see a faint trace of ego there…..
    G: not at all, ego is your own creation, your perception, i am what i am….
    M: and i am what you made me
    G: of course not, i gave you options, you chose
    M: but werent they already made for me?
    G: thats your justification. amazing how you guys always blame me for the bad things and never are happy for the good things…
    M: so how do you manage all of us, our lives, our deaths
    G: ah, trade secret, boy, if i told you, u might actually convince me to outsource it
    M: are you american?
    G: i am heavenly, why do you ask?
    M: just a thought
    G: i think things might be a lot clearer if i told you that you are not an extension of me, rules that u made dont apply to me, think beyond your perceptions
    M: is that possible?
    G: of course, how do you think great marketing ideas come about?
    M: hey , do you have any?
    G: yup, but wont tell you, that would be unfair to others
    M: they wouldnt know
    G: those are your rules and justifications, not mine
    M: what about rights and wrongs that hold true forever
    G: there is only one eternal truth
    M: and that would be you?
    G: think about it
    …………to be continued……….
    and in
    manuscrypts trivia
    a guy joke and a girl joke
    DON’T TEMPT A WOMAN
    A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week, company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
    The wife answers : “Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?”
    The husband laughs and says: “An English girl !!!”
    The woman kept quiet and left.
    Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: “So, honey, how was the trip?”
    “Very good, thank you.”
    “And, what happened to my present?”
    ‘Which present?” She asked?
    “The one I asked for — the English girl!!”
    “Oh, that” she said, “Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait a few months to see if it’s a girl”

    BAD NEWS ABOUT BEER
    Yesterday, University scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.
    Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men were fed 8 pints of beer each within a 1-hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:
    1) Gained weight.
    2) Talked excessively without making sense.
    3) Became overly emotional.
    4) Couldn’t drive.
    5) Failed to think rationally.
    6) Argued over nothing.
    7) Had to sit down while urinating.
    8) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
    No further testing was considered necessary……….

    till next time, keep the faith

  • Democrassy

    When an Italian born Roman Catholic asks a Muslim president to make a (now) Pakistan born Sikh, the Prime Minister, in a country thats predominantly hindu, and still a vast section of the world that considers it a xenophobic, ‘prone to fanaticism’ country, i started wishing Induism were a little more aggressive. Induism, because it can never go back to what the original way of life stood for, it has evolved due to internal and external reasons…..
    When a buffoon like Bush unleashes savagery on whatever country he deems fit for having WMDs, supporting terrorism and a whole range of blah blah that only he understands, the world turns a blind eye, and then regains sight when a Best Bakery happens. “Hindu fanaticism at its worst!!”.
    The only political party that at least makes a semblance (in its own ways) of being Hindu friendly gets chucked out of power for (supposedly) India not having shined for the poor. and pray, what shine did the country get during the first 50 years of independence, when the congress was a virtual monopoly?
    are we talking about an existence, that has created a north-south divide that is perhaps impossible to erase,
    an era which boasted of the ’emergency’?, sure that must be something of a trophy for democracy in india,
    a rule which created poster boys like laloo yadav, ram vilas paswan etc whose sole claim to fame is the caste vote
    and a rule in which the Left stood watching while china screwed us, hell, they even applauded!!
    in today’s context , the same rule which is cosying to the Left,( who still think USSR exists.)
    the secular coalition, which has a party called Muslim League in it, with ministerial berths!!
    If this country is so secular, what is its problem with a hindu party. only because hindus are a majority. and are not aggressive enough!! because muslims are a minority and they need a party to get their rights, of which they already have more than enough!!
    nobody talks of hindusim getting diluted, coz its a mature enogh religion to absorb. tomorrow if i launched a party called the hindu nationalist party, i would get a stay order from the supreme court, and the US would talk about fanaticism and immaturity and barbarism. but hey, would they let a mohammed or ram rule capitol hill? hell, they havent been able to get an african american in, that should happen in the next millenium…….
    manuscrypts trivia
    speaking of capitol hill, heard of the latest ‘washingtonienne’ sex scandal, read about it here, and then read some rare excerpts here or here.
    and a good fwd i got
    Special High Intensity Training
    In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from our employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our one program of Special High Intensity Training. (S.H.I.T.) We are striving to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than any other company. If you feel that you do not receive your fair share of S.H.I.T., please see your manager. you will immediately be placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list. Our managers are especially skilled in seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle. Employees who don’t take S.H.I.T. will be placed in the Department of Employee Evaluation Program. (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.) Those who
    fail to take S.H.I.T. will have to go to Employees Attitude Training. (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.)
    Since our managers took. S.H.I.T. They dont have to do S.H.I.T. any more because they are full of S.H.I.T. already. If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be qualified to train others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List(B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. will get S.H.I.T. jobs and can apply for a Promotion to Director of Intensity Programming(D.I.P.S.H.I.T) If you have any questions,please direct them to our Head Of Training(H.O.T S.H.I.T.)
    Thank you,

    Boss in General
    (B.I.G.S.H.I.T)

  • The Apple Tree

    just a lil story i picked up from somewhere…..
    A long time ago, there was a huge apple tree. A little boy loved to come and play around it everyday. He climbed to the treetop, ate the apples, took a nap under the shadow…he loved the tree and the tree loved to play with him.
    Time went by…the little boy had grown up and he no longer played around the tree every day.
    One day, the boy came back to the tree and he looked sad. “Come and play with me” the tree asked the boy. “I am no longer a kid, I do not play around trees any more” the boy replied.”I want toys. I need money to buy them.”
    “Sorry, but I do not have money… but you can pick all my apples and sell them. So, you will have money.” The boy was so excited. He grabbed all the apples on the tree and left happily. The boy never came back after he picked the apples. The tree was sad.
    One day, the boy who now turned into a man returned and the tree was excited “Come and play with me” the tree said. “I do not have time to play. I have to work for my family. We need a house for shelter. Can you help me?”
    “Sorry, but I do not have any house. But you can chop off my branches to build your house.” So the man cut all the branches of the tree and left happily. The tree was glad to see him happy but the man never came back since then. The tree was again lonely and sad.
    One hot summer day, the man returned and the tree was delighted. “Come and play with me!” the tree said. “I am getting old. I want to go sailing to relax myself. Can you give me a boat?” said the man.
    “Use my trunk to build your boat. You can sail far away and be happy.” So the man cut the tree trunk to make a boat. He went sailing and never showed up for a long time.
    Finally, the man returned after many years. “Sorry, my boy. But I do not have anything for you anymore. No more apples for you …” the tree said. “No problem, I do not have any teeth to bite” the man replied. “No more trunk for you to climb on””I am too old for that
    now” the man said. “I really cannot give you anything… the only thing left is my dying roots” the tree said with tears. “I do not need much now, just a place to rest. I am tired after all these years” the man replied. “Good! Old tree roots are the best place to lean on and rest, Come, come sit down with me and rest.” The man sat down and the tree was glad and smiled with tears…
    This is a story of everyone.
    Father, mother, brother, sister, friend, it could have been anyone…….. all of us have wronged someone at some stage in our life, this is my way of saying sorry. i might not be able to correct what i have done, but at least i can pass the message.
    manuscrypts trivia
    an answer to one comment on a post sometime back….
    “The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity.”~ Albert Einstein
    “The answer to any problem “pre-exists.” We need to ask the right question to reveal the answer.”~ Jonas Salk
    this is a must read, and did you know they actually had a petition online against sonia becoming PM…. as for our sardarji, FM 91 to PM 2004, not bad at all!!

  • Polls Apart

    is generally what i am from exercising my franchise, and this time is no exception. not exactly proud of it, but still haven’t figured out the chicken and egg situation – me making a difference to the polls and the polls making a difference to me….
    but am still socially conscious enough to be closely following the results, have sometimes even wondered whether there is a totally different form of rigging (from what we see) going on in the background. someone has said that “politics is the last refuge of the scoundrel” and in these times, it holds true in india.
    it is very difficult for the common public to get anything done from any politician, especially when he is in power, which is why i was kinda happy about some things that a certain mr.naidu was doing in hyderabad. not that that he was getting milk and honey to flow(even water was dicey), but somewhere he was making a difference. given time, he might have got the entire state to be like hyderabad. …..but the junta felt otherwise, which in my mind raises the question whether the junta deserves the politicians they get. the junta who may/do not see the bigger picture and the junta who dont want to make a difference…hehe..we have been trying to get rid of poverty since 1947, and no one has succeeded…sanjay gandhi did get rid of some poor , and therefore poverty but dunno if that can be a legal count…what has been happening is roughly like this
    “What is Politics?”
    A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?”
    Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me capitalism. Your Mom, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you the people. The nanny, we’ll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we’ll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,”
    So, the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents’ room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
    The next morning, the little boy says to his father, “Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.” The father says, “Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.” The little boy replies, “Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.”
    and now, onto
    manuscrypts trivia
    “Write a wise saying and your name will live forever” ~ Anonymous
    “I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.” ~ Steven Wright