Category: Yesterday

  • Growth, or the lack of it….

    At every cross road, there are opportunities that have not been taken. There are choices that have been made, options that have been taken, the first with a steely resolve, and the second, with a sense of compromise. The first is more often than not, a happy tone that comes from knowing exactly what we want, and the second one is a tone of resignation, which comes from knowing somewhere deep inside that by giving up a little, much could have been gained, if only we could bring ourselves to do it, if only we could be sure…

    I’ve always wondered about why I have a problem with giving up a few comforts, a few perks, a few advantages in life, especially if it means I could have an opportunity to connect with what I was meant to do in this life. At first, i thought it could be because I wasn’t sure what exactly it was. But then, I was even giving up chances of finding out what it could be.

    I came across a new logic a while back. One thats rooted in my small town origins. Of course, its no longer a small town, its what they call a tier 2 city. 🙂 Growing up in a small town means that you’re always on ‘add to shopping cart’ mode in terms of aspirations. Growing up in an age when the cans of cola in the hands of videsi relatives evoked a sense of envy, didn’t help. While a lot of the shopping cart items were thrown out with age and what I hope is maturity, there are some deep seated ones which are difficult to get over. Which explains the constant striving for growth. And as each upgrade is done with, it becomes more difficult to give up what has been achieved after so much of work has gone into it. While it can be argued that the potential growth by letting go is much larger, or that the movement is only lateral, when you come in from what is relatively nowhere, it is difficult to imagine even risking going back there.

    until next time, hedging the bets

  • Turn Turn Turn

    Relationships. Hugs and backslaps give way to handshakes and then smiles. Swearwords give way to way to polite greetings and then a ‘Hi’. Long chats give way to short conversations to scraps on orkut and then to nothingness. Maybe that’s the way life is, but maybe its also time, place, context and things unexplainable. Fade.


    until next time, we say ‘it depends’ 🙂

  • I remember a house, like a lot of other houses, a yard…..

    From streets lined with trees, from flyover constructions, from roads whose names gave indications of a colonial past, from temples and their loudspeaker bhajans and flower fragrances, from an old theatre that played mallu movies, from rail tracks and the hoot of the occasional train. To change, and the creation of another set of memories.

    until next time, shift

  • Legacies

    Quite sometime back, i had written this, in which i had tried to fathom the confusion of a generation caught in transit. That genaration is definitely making progress, marching towards the paramaters of the next generation with ever increasing confidence, but in a sense, giving up on things that used to be sacrosanct until a few years back. Nothing wrong with that, to each his own. But there’s one thing that always makes me wonder.

    There were things we grew up with – watching potboilers of amitabh in moviehalls with uncomfortable seats and later in VCRs, listening to the nasality of Kumar Sanu on Tseries tapes, enjoying the exploits of Kapil Dev or later Sachin Tendulkar in a crowded room full of cousins, reading Amar Chitra Katha and Tinkle and Indrajal, travelling in Ambassador cars and Indian railways, lazing around during summer vacations and so on.
    And while they still watch Big B movies in multiplexes, listen to Himesh on Tseries CDs while pretending to say Oh No’s, Tendulkar still rocks despite occasional calls for retirement, ACK and Tinkle will soon be available online, Indian Railways is still cool if we go by Jab We Met, and they find a few hours to laze around during summer vacations despite the karate classes, entrance tutions, salsa classes etc that enable them to survive and win in this oh-so competitive world, I wonder whether they’ll ever get nostalgic about any of the above the way we do.
    Or have they found other things that i haven’t heard of that will link them with their childhood and youth, the ones that will give them bittersweet memories which they can jot down like this, the legacy of a way of life they can pass on to the generations that follow. Or will it all be forgotten in the tumble of the life we lead today, in which everyday brings in a faster way of doing things, a quicker way of travelling, a better way to store data, an easier way to communicate and so on… Will it all be lost when things become so transient that the past won’t really matter anymore…
    until next time, remember….

  • And that leaves only

    Kolkata. Which is phenomenal by my standards, as though of you who’ve read the previous post might have realised. As for the others, all it takes is one sentence to bring you upto speed- i hate travelling.
    But this year has seen me visiting 3 of the (erstwhile only) 4 metros in the country.
    Mumbai – February – last visited 2006 April, and that was only because i had to get inducted, professionally, that is. Judging by my tenure, fat lot of good it did. I was a frequent Mumbai visitor in the 80’sthough – before the bhai stuff became popular. No, there’s no connection. Shivaji Park was the usual venue, with a bit of Peddar Road and Malabar Hill thrown in. And then i stopped going to school, and that ended the summer vacations.Sigh
    Chennai – August – last visited 1999 or was it 95? Damn, i’m really getting old. 95 is easier to remember because of the 12th Std results and the giant B&W poster of Aishwarya Rai to celebrate it. Yup, its 99 coz i boarded the Corromandel Exp from there for my first Kolkata trip.
    Delhi – September and October – last visited 1993. And a much forgettable trip.
    I dont think I’ll do Kolkata, at least that leaves my tarnished record some chances of redemption 😉
    until next time, traveller’s outlook