Category: Stories

  • Massage Parlour

    He was not exactly sure whether he should have come here at all.. the reason he was in two minds was because on the one side, he had felt the massage would do him good.. it was not exactly the best times of his life – a thoroughly competitive professional life, with all the perks like backbiting, idea hijacking, impossible sales targets etc, and a not so rosy personal life with looming problems like kids’ education, lack of enough savings etc.. all in all, his confidence was at an all time low, and a massage would really do him good…
    on the other hand,he had also heard a lot of not-so-encouraging things about massage parlours, about how they served as a front for a whole bunch of shady activities… he had been tempted to go for one of those which offered services at one’s home, but he wasnt quite sure how his wife would react…But after the first few minutes into the place, he lost all his discomfort, because he was being treated like a king..
    and although he knew he was paying for all of it, the sheer extravagance of the service floored him… while they gave him the initial generic massage,they asked him whether he would like to talk a bit about his professional life too, and as the conversation progressed, he felt a lot of his self confidence return… and as it moved further into his personal life, he felt that he had the solutions to all the problems, which a few hours back, he had felt were insurmountable…
    a few hours later, he left the place, leaving a huge tip, and thanked profusely his good fortune,which had made him seen the ad on a rare lazy sunday, and when he had finally made the decision to go to the place which boldly said ‘Massage Parlour’, and in little fine print said ‘all kinds of ego massages provided’…
    on a sidenote, is a belief that one has controlled the ego, also an ego??

    until next time, alter the ego……..

  • Fwd: 55

    1. The police had only a couple of clues on the serial killings, the message on the bodies – “the murder number and ‘of LV’” , and the victim was a criminal. They tried the known criminals’ database for the initials ‘LV’, with no luck. They had no hopes of catching the killer, but how many would die?

    2. He sat at the window, happily gazing at the vast metro. A killer out there was decimating his competition. And he knew he wouldn’t die, because he had worked out the clue. And the news said murder #55 had just been committed. So when the guy barged in and shot him dead, he was surprised.
    3. He waited outside the door. He had hoped to stop after the last one, but RGV insisted that the title was registered, he would have to do one more before they made the movie based on the encounter specialist. He barged in and shot the criminal point blank. This time,there was no clue.
    until next time, i got it from here, try it out…

  • Onam

    Oh yes, very much God’s own festival… and yes, He had a major role to play in it.. Legend has it that the demon king Mahabali, who ruled over Kerala, was so good, that Indra, the king of Gods, felt a tinge of professional jealousy, a God size tinge… so he politely took an appointment with Vishnu, who had, by that time, made it a habit of rescuing Indra from all the shit he was constantly falling into.. Indra convinced Vishnu that the yajna that mahabali was conducting now was only a smokescreen, and it was part of the long term strategy to overthrow Indra…

    And so Vishnu, who knew all about the matrix, morphed himself into a brahmin lad, went to Mahabali, and asked him for three measures of land, and the measure would be His foot.. Now Mahabali, was famed for his generosity, which was king sized, and immediately agreed, inspite of advice from his spiritual guru… What he needed was a lawyer, for, like most other cases, it was the fine print that caused his downfall.. for Vishnu, just bloated himself and in his first measure took up heaven, and in the second , earth and the other planets.. i guess, by now, mahabali would have totally lost his composure, and, in response to vishnu’s query on where he should keep his third footstep, would have said ‘mere sar pe’.. vishnu, wily God that he was, did just that, and pushed Mahabali into the netherworld…

    Vishnu might have felt some pity, for he gave Mahabali permission to visit Kerala, once a year to see his subjects.. and the day he comes back, we Keralites celebrate Onam and sing our own versions of ‘Those were the days, my friend….’

    Of course, times have changed now, the Congress is ruling,and they are worse than in the times of Indra, Onam is celebrated more in UAE, America, Europe, Bangalore and other assorted places where Keralites reside in more than 3 numbers, but in spite of all that, its still Onam, and i still get a smile on my lips, even if its in memory of the good old times – yours, Mahabali, and mine too….

    until next time, happy Onam to all of you…

  • The Morning news

    He walked around the room, as if caged. and every minute, his anger grew.. for the third morning in a row, he had not got the newspapers. he had already called the vendor a couple of times, in the last two days. he had thought that at least today things would return to normal. but it didnt seem like it would. and it was no fun going down two floors of stairs to see if the paper had come, and discovering that it had not. he loved the view from the terrace, but living on the second floor had its own drawbacks. in irritation he called up the vendor again.
    ‘Sir, we have already sent it” said the vendor
    ‘well, i havent been getting the paper for 2 days now. tell the paperboy very clearly it is the second floor’.
    ‘sir, it could be that the people on the ground floor have been taking your paper. dont worry, sir, i have given the boy special instructions.
    ‘ok. i will wait.’
    saying so, he ended the conversation. he decided he would resume his ‘caged walk’ on the terrace,with an occasional peep downstairs to see if the paper had come.
    the boy had been getting a beating for no fault of his own, for the past couple of days. apparently some guy had not been getting the newspaper for two days now. he knew the house, and also knew what might be happening to the paper. he had told his boss, and today, his boss had given him some special instructions. he hoped it would work, he hated getting beaten. he reached the house, and took the special bundle, special, because the two newspapers were bound together with a cord. and with all his might, heaved it towards the second floor terrace.
    at that exact moment, the man looked down… and hard hitting news got a whole new meaning!!
    until next time, this is the lead story!!

  • Hogwash

    Howling was a worried author. Though her books were appreciated by the masses, she hadn’t been able to reach quite the same level as a certain Mr.Erle Stanley Gardner. and she was quite sure that it was mostly due to the one star character that Gardner had created – perry mason. yes, thought Howling, that was what she needed – an iconic character. she didn’t want to take the competition head on, so the character couldn’t be a lawyer. there was only one profession that could offer the same kind of thrills, mystery, sex and intrigue – a private detective. and thus was born Parry Hotter. Parry, a take on Perry, and Hotter, because Howling thought hes character would be, well, a much hotter proposition in the market. and what followed was

    Parry Hotter and the Philosopher’s Stone

    Donald Chump had everything – money, power, hair, a successful reality show, but in spite of all this, he was a worried man. Women hated him. In spite of all the pheromone perfumes and pickup lines that his staff wrote for him, he simply couldn’t woo a woman. But he still had some hope, for legend had it that a philosopher in ancient Greece had found the secret of what women really wanted, and had capsuled the secret into a stone. Chump was told by his advisers that if it existed, there was only one man who could get it for him – Parry Hotter. Chump only told him two words – You’re hired!! And thus begins Parry’s journey to Greece and its past. Will Parry get the stone? Will Chump become a lady’s man??In the very first book of the series, Howling has created a character that looks all set to become an icon for generations to come.

    Parry Hotter and the Chamber of Secrets

    It is said that power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. In the second book of the series, Howling has raised controversial questions on America’s legislature, the Clinton administration and the nation’s esteemed judiciary. Parry Hotter has been hired by certain politicians to investigate rumours about the secret happenings in the presidential chambers. As he gets sucked into the vortex of political manipulation, lust, greed, scandal, sex and power, the tension mounts. Will Parry get his cover blown? Or will he get the job done?

    Parry Hotter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

    In this new novel, set in the war torn middle east, Howling has tried to take a moral stance on global issues. Parry Hotter has been enlisted by a rebel group to help its leader escape from the heavily guarded military base at Azkaban. Battling double agents, regime loyalists, lookalikes, and deadly arab damsels, and torn between loyalty to his nation and global sympathy, Parry has to decide – is he saving a tyrannical dictator or an old man who stood up to the most powerful nation on earth?

    Parry Hotter and the Goblet of Fire

    Its a threat as old as the world itself. Countless people have fought it and countless have succumbed to it – drugs. In his new adventure, Parry Hotter is on the trail of a mandarin who holds the secret to the most potent drug in the scene today. Known as the goblet of fire, the addictive potion has already killed thousands and is well on its way to destroying millions more. as parry hunts the mandarin of death from the jungles of colombia to the beaches of goa, and the drug infested streets of hong kong to the teeming nightlife of London, he comes face to face with the troubles of a generation, which is in search of itself. Can parry douse the fire thats eating up an entire generation??

    Parry Hotter and the Order of the Phoenix

    In her stunning new novel, Howling brings Parry full circle. Thanks to Parry, Donald Chump is now quite a lady killer. But in his quest for more power, he has created an army of deadly female assassins. With the help of the Philosopher’s stone, he has manipulated them to having only a single mission – helping Chump become the most superior power on earth.  From models and actresses to princesses and heads of state, chump continues to lure more and more women into his army of assassins. He has named them the ‘order of the phoenix’, for the sheer lust for them could make men rise even from their ashes. As the world awakens to the threat of Chump, it becomes evident that there’s only one man who can save the earth from the clutches of Chump – Parry Hotter.

    Parry Hotter and the Half Blood Prince

    Parry Hotter has retired from his life of adventure. But even he cant resist a challenge, especially when there’s royalty involved. The young prince of England is ready for his coronation. All of England is in joy, but a dark cloud is in the horizon. it has become known that there’s someone who wants to assassinate the prince. As a pall of gloom envelops the royal family, it also becomes known that the villain in the piece is none other than the illegitimate son of the prince’s mother and her businessman lover. Raised by his grandparents after his parents’ horrible death in a car crash, he is known as the half blood prince.

    As he battles the vested interests of tabloids in search of scandals and former royal employees turned bestselling authors, the world expects magic from parry, but has he met his match this time??

    until next time, i can see brickbats and broomsticks chasing me…..

    Update: If you liked the above, you might also want to read Hogwash – The Finale