Category: Flawsophy

  • One on One with the One – Part Deux

    the sequel to the hugely popular (huh?) post “One on One with the One – Part One” 😉

    M: lots of people have been questioning on similar lines, but havent found answers yet
    G: some of the smarter guys in your species, aristotle , einstein etc have said that if the right question is asked, the answer can be found
    M: why didnt they ask the right ones then?
    G: oh well, maybe that wasnt the purpose of their existence…
    M: is that the Truth then? finding a purpose for your existence and then doing it ? actually Wilde has said “Truth, in the matters of religion, is simply the opinion that has survived.
    G: ah Oscar, he was a smart one..hehe… reminds me, he has also said that “When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers.”
    M: is that a truth too?
    G: hmmm, let me put it this way, there was a time when prayers were made only when you guys reached the limits of endurance,
    these days you actually think its my job to live your life…
    M: you put us here, so….
    G: when you drive a car, do you use the handbrake for emegency or always?
    M: okay, i think i get your point, and yeah, i still dont have a car, thank YOU
    G: here we go again, once in a while look around you
    M: i do, and believe me, lots of people have cars.
    G: grr, what about the people who cant even buy a bicycle?
    M: yeah, but they were born that way
    G: oh, and i suppose you had a hand in being born the way you are? lemme share some facts with you
    – If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep .. you are richer than 75% of this world.
    – If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace .. you are among the top 8% of the world’s wealthy.
    – If you woke up this morning with more health than illness … you are more luckier than the million who will not survive this week.
    – If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation .. you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.
    – If you can practise your religion without fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death ..you are luckier than three billion people in the world.
    – If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful ..you are lucky because the majority can, but most do not.
    – and you can read this, you are luckier than over two billion people in the world that cannot read at all.
    G: i should say “count your blessings and thank the lord” , but then you’ll start saying that i have an ego.
    M: but whats behind selective answering of prayers?
    G: well, sometimes the answer is ‘no’.
    M: but what do you get by making people suffer?
    G: you create the problems, i dont …….
    M: like i said, rather, like you said, i dont chose where/how i am born..
    G: what about the opportunities you are given?
    M: you are saying that i have a choice..
    G: yes, and all that happens is by your choice, there might be strings attached to all the choices, but you choose..Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live….smell the flowers, love, be loved, be kind, be fair.. be human, in the way i wanted you to be…
    and now in
    manuscrypts trivia
    try this site, its a color- personality test, think its good…
    got this as a fwd
    NIIT : Not Interested in IT
    WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output
    HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses
    TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions
    INFOSYS :Inferior Offline Systems
    HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping
    IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines
    SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly
    C-DOT : Coffee During Office Timings
    CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort
    TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd.
    TNT : Till Next Time…….. keep the faith 🙂

    P.S..readers are requested to use ‘post scrypts’ and not ‘comments’.. thank ye!!

  • One on One with The One – Part One

    One day on chat, a window popped up …….
    G: Hi there, did u call me?
    M: who r u? dont remember calling anyone..
    G: heard you praying to me, thought i’d come over and chat…
    M: nice line, but how do i know who u r ?
    G: ha! just about sums up the state of humanity… they see me all around and still question my existence!! but just to prove a point, you saw that image of keira knightley and wished…(lost connection)
    connection resumes
    G: and wished that
    M: ok ok i am a believer!!
    G: men are so easy ;), hey, nowadays, you rarely think about me
    M: are you a woman?
    G: does it matter? but why do you ask?
    M: oh, just the general tone of the conversation. but yeah, you are right, the personal rapport with you has kinda lessened..
    G: dont worry, its only human..
    M: i see a faint trace of ego there…..
    G: not at all, ego is your own creation, your perception, i am what i am….
    M: and i am what you made me
    G: of course not, i gave you options, you chose
    M: but werent they already made for me?
    G: thats your justification. amazing how you guys always blame me for the bad things and never are happy for the good things…
    M: so how do you manage all of us, our lives, our deaths
    G: ah, trade secret, boy, if i told you, u might actually convince me to outsource it
    M: are you american?
    G: i am heavenly, why do you ask?
    M: just a thought
    G: i think things might be a lot clearer if i told you that you are not an extension of me, rules that u made dont apply to me, think beyond your perceptions
    M: is that possible?
    G: of course, how do you think great marketing ideas come about?
    M: hey , do you have any?
    G: yup, but wont tell you, that would be unfair to others
    M: they wouldnt know
    G: those are your rules and justifications, not mine
    M: what about rights and wrongs that hold true forever
    G: there is only one eternal truth
    M: and that would be you?
    G: think about it
    …………to be continued……….
    and in
    manuscrypts trivia
    a guy joke and a girl joke
    DON’T TEMPT A WOMAN
    A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week, company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
    The wife answers : “Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?”
    The husband laughs and says: “An English girl !!!”
    The woman kept quiet and left.
    Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: “So, honey, how was the trip?”
    “Very good, thank you.”
    “And, what happened to my present?”
    ‘Which present?” She asked?
    “The one I asked for — the English girl!!”
    “Oh, that” she said, “Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait a few months to see if it’s a girl”

    BAD NEWS ABOUT BEER
    Yesterday, University scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.
    Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men were fed 8 pints of beer each within a 1-hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:
    1) Gained weight.
    2) Talked excessively without making sense.
    3) Became overly emotional.
    4) Couldn’t drive.
    5) Failed to think rationally.
    6) Argued over nothing.
    7) Had to sit down while urinating.
    8) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
    No further testing was considered necessary……….

    till next time, keep the faith

  • Democrassy

    When an Italian born Roman Catholic asks a Muslim president to make a (now) Pakistan born Sikh, the Prime Minister, in a country thats predominantly hindu, and still a vast section of the world that considers it a xenophobic, ‘prone to fanaticism’ country, i started wishing Induism were a little more aggressive. Induism, because it can never go back to what the original way of life stood for, it has evolved due to internal and external reasons…..
    When a buffoon like Bush unleashes savagery on whatever country he deems fit for having WMDs, supporting terrorism and a whole range of blah blah that only he understands, the world turns a blind eye, and then regains sight when a Best Bakery happens. “Hindu fanaticism at its worst!!”.
    The only political party that at least makes a semblance (in its own ways) of being Hindu friendly gets chucked out of power for (supposedly) India not having shined for the poor. and pray, what shine did the country get during the first 50 years of independence, when the congress was a virtual monopoly?
    are we talking about an existence, that has created a north-south divide that is perhaps impossible to erase,
    an era which boasted of the ’emergency’?, sure that must be something of a trophy for democracy in india,
    a rule which created poster boys like laloo yadav, ram vilas paswan etc whose sole claim to fame is the caste vote
    and a rule in which the Left stood watching while china screwed us, hell, they even applauded!!
    in today’s context , the same rule which is cosying to the Left,( who still think USSR exists.)
    the secular coalition, which has a party called Muslim League in it, with ministerial berths!!
    If this country is so secular, what is its problem with a hindu party. only because hindus are a majority. and are not aggressive enough!! because muslims are a minority and they need a party to get their rights, of which they already have more than enough!!
    nobody talks of hindusim getting diluted, coz its a mature enogh religion to absorb. tomorrow if i launched a party called the hindu nationalist party, i would get a stay order from the supreme court, and the US would talk about fanaticism and immaturity and barbarism. but hey, would they let a mohammed or ram rule capitol hill? hell, they havent been able to get an african american in, that should happen in the next millenium…….
    manuscrypts trivia
    speaking of capitol hill, heard of the latest ‘washingtonienne’ sex scandal, read about it here, and then read some rare excerpts here or here.
    and a good fwd i got
    Special High Intensity Training
    In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from our employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our one program of Special High Intensity Training. (S.H.I.T.) We are striving to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than any other company. If you feel that you do not receive your fair share of S.H.I.T., please see your manager. you will immediately be placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list. Our managers are especially skilled in seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle. Employees who don’t take S.H.I.T. will be placed in the Department of Employee Evaluation Program. (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.) Those who
    fail to take S.H.I.T. will have to go to Employees Attitude Training. (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.)
    Since our managers took. S.H.I.T. They dont have to do S.H.I.T. any more because they are full of S.H.I.T. already. If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be qualified to train others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List(B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. will get S.H.I.T. jobs and can apply for a Promotion to Director of Intensity Programming(D.I.P.S.H.I.T) If you have any questions,please direct them to our Head Of Training(H.O.T S.H.I.T.)
    Thank you,

    Boss in General
    (B.I.G.S.H.I.T)

  • The God shaped Whole

    contrary to certain suggestions, i have not been stuck in anniversary celebrations :-)… just a whole lotta work!!!
    this post is a collage of viewpoints on god… i read a fwd on the age old dispute over the existence of god… so i thought this might be a good forum to get more opinions. am quoting two theories which were very thought provoking
    The epicurean argument
    Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
    Then He is not omnipotent.
    Is He able, but not willing?
    Then He is malevolent.
    Is He both able and willing?
    Then whence cometh evil?
    Is He neither able nor willing?
    Then why call him God?
    And the ‘freewill argument’, which is propounded by a whole lot of atheists – once human beings came to be, God invested them with free will, chose voluntarily to convert the world into an autonomous institution, to be run by humans, in which He would not interfere.
    Though this does explain away a great number of minor and major calamities, which descend on us-from a road accident that takes away a beloved to a war that kills and maims thousands. But it does make for a hard-hearted, remote, indifferent God.
    my take, what about a god who might have initially shown faith in humanity, but then given up??

    ………to be continued
    meanwhile some
    manuscripts trivia
    “I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability.” ~ Oscar Wilde
    “God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.” ~ Paul Valery
    “To surrender to ignorance and call it God has alwaysbeen premature, and it remains premature today.”~ Isaac Asimov
    and have to share this fwd , lets title it “mallu power”
    There is a popular saying that wherever you go, you will find a Mallu,but…

    Kuttappan is a Mallu…Kuttappan was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.”Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “OK, Kuttappan how about Tom Cruise?”
    “Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.”
    So Kuttappan and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, “Kuttappan! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!” Although impressed, Kuttappan’s boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Kuttappan that he thinks Kuttappan’s knowing Cruise was just lucky.
    “No, no, just name anyone else, “Kuttappan says.
    “President Bush,” his boss quickly retorts.
    “Yes,” Kuttappan says, “I know him, let’s fly out to Washington.”
    And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Kuttappan on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, “Kuttappan, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and
    let’s have a cup of coffee first and catch up.”
    Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Kuttappan who again implores him to name anyone else.
    “The Pope,” his boss replies.
    “Sure!” says Kuttappan. “I have relatives in Poland, and I’ve known the Pope a long time.” So off they fly to Rome. Kuttappan and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Kuttappan says, “This will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye
    among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I’ll come out on the balcony with the Pope. And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican.
    Sure enough, half an hour later Kuttappan emerges with the Pope on the balcony.But by the time Kuttappan returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss’ side, Kuttappan asks him, “What happened?” His boss looks up and says, “I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, ‘Who’s that on the balcony with Kuttappan?”

  • Hot and Happening

    Since the whole of India is like an oven, the title would have been apt even if it was out of context, but it is in context, nevertheless….
    i saw a malayalam movie thats become a hit recently. Its called “4 the poeple” (the pun, i think, is intended because it centres around four college guys).
    Four engineering graduates who are sick of the corruption, goondaism around, and take the law into their hands. their interface with the commonfolk is a website where people can register complaints against corrupt practices, gangs etc. the guys (typically, almost as a trademark) cuts off the right hand of the perpetrator and sends off the proof of his misdeeds to the police.
    I am happy for the movie’s success, coz it means the public is still at a stage where they are appreciative of (at least) someone standing for justice, fairness etc…. and more than that, willing to sacrifice a good life for the betterment of society. In a society devoid of morals, even thats a boon. right now, the process of accumulating wealth has become a passion. and it has to be, if only for survival. and therefore morals, ethics, virtues etc dont count.
    i need more money coz my old classmate has bought a new car, my colleague has bought a new house, my neighbour has two home theatres for his single home and so on and so forth…all the while listening to new age gurus, who, like a colleague so aptly put it, are only telling me what my grandma used to say anyways!!
    i am in the whirlpool, and even though i hate it, i have to swim vigorously to survive…. and if i can manage it, sink a couple of people swimming with me…
    society judges me be what i have, and not what i am, and so i play along, and will lose eventually, but yes, i tried. and i am a traitor in society’s camp coz i derive a sadisitic pleasure when i hear people talking about the heat (even though i get affected myself)..coz , its because of the tree cutting, plastic using, animal killing consumeristic greed of ours that nature is treating us with the same feeling that we treat it… no sympathies!! but hey, i am still with society, and pretty soon, hope to be hot and happening….
    meanwhile, some good quotes from some lucky people who had the time to think…… and do …in
    manuscrypts trivia
    “About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.” ~ Josh Billings
    “Everyone is as God has made him, and oftentimes a great deal worse.” ~ Miguel de Cervantes
    “God is at home, it’s we who have gone out for a walk.” ~ Eckhart