Category: Flawsophy

  • Views

    …and we lament, ‘Oh, he has changed’, without pausing to consider the objectivity of the statement. We like people to stay whoever they have been so long, because it then means we don’t have to alter the patterns we have set for them, and when, in our view, they alter themselves even a wee bit, we frown, and even that small changes causes a butterfly effect on the set of patterns, however irrelevant they might be to the particular change.

    And that was what i discovered the last time I checked – ‘our view’. In many cases, it may not be the person that changes, but only our view of him. Our views, which change constantly as a result of all the experiences we keep having. Our views, which keep adding layer after layer, filter after filter,so that the tint that we see once may never be seen again.That perhaps is why the youth are not able to have a child like innocence in their perspectives, and the middle aged can never find their youthful exuberance in their views, and so on…

    And so, the next time, i say ‘You have changed’, I shall perhaps do a quick review of what really has changed.


    until next time, next change

  • Growth, or the lack of it….

    At every cross road, there are opportunities that have not been taken. There are choices that have been made, options that have been taken, the first with a steely resolve, and the second, with a sense of compromise. The first is more often than not, a happy tone that comes from knowing exactly what we want, and the second one is a tone of resignation, which comes from knowing somewhere deep inside that by giving up a little, much could have been gained, if only we could bring ourselves to do it, if only we could be sure…

    I’ve always wondered about why I have a problem with giving up a few comforts, a few perks, a few advantages in life, especially if it means I could have an opportunity to connect with what I was meant to do in this life. At first, i thought it could be because I wasn’t sure what exactly it was. But then, I was even giving up chances of finding out what it could be.

    I came across a new logic a while back. One thats rooted in my small town origins. Of course, its no longer a small town, its what they call a tier 2 city. 🙂 Growing up in a small town means that you’re always on ‘add to shopping cart’ mode in terms of aspirations. Growing up in an age when the cans of cola in the hands of videsi relatives evoked a sense of envy, didn’t help. While a lot of the shopping cart items were thrown out with age and what I hope is maturity, there are some deep seated ones which are difficult to get over. Which explains the constant striving for growth. And as each upgrade is done with, it becomes more difficult to give up what has been achieved after so much of work has gone into it. While it can be argued that the potential growth by letting go is much larger, or that the movement is only lateral, when you come in from what is relatively nowhere, it is difficult to imagine even risking going back there.

    until next time, hedging the bets

  • The Non non conformists

    There was a time conformity was common. When the non conformists became the majority, they changed the rules. Belonging suddenly became cool, and new herds were formed. But if you really look at it, not much has really changed. We’ve only traded conformism for a sense of belonging. The options are many, the choices few.

    until next time, heard the post begin here 🙂

  • One degree of separation

    “…like two shores separated by an ocean,
    and the ocean is our ego….”
    until next time, love beaches 😀

  • To be Shore..

    And “Alan Shore fans” makes it to my orkut communities because of this…
    Alan Shore: Well you need to hear it! ……… to abuse a talented, selfless employee only because his social skills lack the polish! To allow him to work tirelessly under the delusion that he could make partner! A delusion you carefully nurtured so as to make piles of money off of him in the short term. That’s a betrayal, Shirley. Not just of Jerry, but of you! And your character! Which up till now I have considered undeniably decent.

    Shirley Schmidt: Are you finished?

    Alan Shore: No. Jerry Espenson, no doubt, will go off quietly into the night as the meek often do. But somebody around here has to get angry about it. Otherwise you’ll just go off and blithely do it again.

    Shirley Schmidt: We have not yet made a decision concerning Jerry Espenson, when we do I will call you first to tell you, “It is none of your concern!”

    Alan Shore: There’s a saying Shirley, perhaps you’ve heard it. ‘All it takes for evil to succeed is for good people to say, “It’s a business.”

    While that might have been boring to the non-followers, what interested me was that it addresses an issue that i have found constantly encountered in professional life – social skills, or the lack of it. I’ve been ambivalent about this myself, but it irks me when people with lesser skills tend to be able to push their case only because they are aggressive, especially in situations where the hard skills are more important than the soft ones..

    And sometimes i see this aggression being used in a social context when the people who prefer to exist in the background are subject to the sort of bullying that usually is associated with school life… And each time i see it happen, i thank god for a reasonably sharp humour sense and a dichotomy of personality 🙂


    until next time, the meek shall inherit the earth…