Category: Flawsophy

  • Adept Us

    The blog (and its readers) have been victims of many a ‘baggage’ post, but this one is slightly different. The ‘insight’ must seem a no-brainer on hindsight, but because it isn’t a direction I’d thought in, it did seem a bit of a revelation.

    From my own experiences and from observing others, I realised that there was one thing that makes baggage shed itself at whatever pace is required at the moment – survival. And it works across all kinds, say physical eg.cleanliness, or emotional eg.hatred for a person and it looks like the subconscious has a way of dealing with it such that we don’t even realise it is happening. Maybe it doesn’t work the same way for everyone, but I know it does for me, at least to a certain extent.

    The other realisation was the paradox in adaption working both ways. There are many baggage items that started out as a sort of protection when dealing with others eg. the aggression that hides a timid character slowly eclipsing the latter completely. This then becomes a part of character till we don’t even realise that we weren’t always that way. Until the day something forces it to be dropped – not just for a few hours, but a longer stretch of time.

    We have been wired for survival but since it is not really possible to simulate situations that threaten it, I come back to the original square – of watching oneself, being really ‘aware’ of every instant, and guarding against baggage accumulation. Now that’s a how-to I am yet to crack.

    until next time, survival of the fib test

  • Expert Ease

    This one jumped ahead in the drafts queue, thanks to a tweet session with Ranjani.

    The internet, and specially its social manifestations have meant that experts of all shapes and sizes scream out of my stream on a regular basis. So, when I found a superb post that mashed two domains where I see most of the atrocities being committed in the name of expertise, I was oh! so happy enough to share it and add my two non-cents. One of the two domains is easy to guess – the social web, where the number of experts are about 3 less than the number of users, the three non experts being bots or brands. The second one is food.

    Both of these are domains I operate in, and in both of them I have a problem with ‘expertise’. With respect to social media, it’s pretty simple. There are dozens of social media tools and platforms that the ‘expert’ would have no clue about. Even if he did, there’s a new one coming out every week. The application of expertise is usually to do with brands. Again, there are thousands of categories and audience types, whose usage of tools and platforms differ as do their relationships with brands. I can go on and on, but I’d like to hop on to the other one.

    On food. I don’t cook, and my knowledge is limited to one season of Masterchef Australia, in which I was completely lost in the visual stimuli and paid scant attention to the craft. However, I can understand how one person could become an expert in cooking a dish/many dishes in a certain way, or know how that dish tastes according to a certain recipe, but to assume that every palate in the world will appreciate the dish cooked that way, ONLY that way, and further decree that it SHOULD be enjoyed only that way, is to my mind, ridiculous. And yet, I have seen enough snobbery around that, and tirades on how one should opine on food. (example) A good time to note that despite Mr.Bourdain’s well intentioned advice, I still have my steak well done. (someone commented on twitter that they stopped reading the food reviews here because of that) I aspire to be worthy in some other way. Sigh.

    I do grant that ‘experts’ more often than not offer perspectives more broad, deep, and varied than the average person. There are also instances where certain technicalities are involved, and a trained person’s view might be considered more informed. But the issue for me is about taking a global stance on expertise – on everything that falls in the domain, opining on it, and then insisting that the opinion is the only standard applicable, with no consideration to an untrained person’s views and reasons. As Seth Godin rightly said, “Expertise is a posture as much as it is a volume of knowledge.” Unfortunately, on the flip side, most people do not have the time to google, so the ‘expert’ status IS easily gamed, especially on social platforms, where a fan legion will attack at the first sign of dissent. Maybe if we can all agree that there are no experts, and only perspectives, some informed, some nuanced, and some just plain subjective opinions…

    Will end this with the best work on the subject that I have seen – this xkcd toon, which pretty much sums it up

    (alt text: Our brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit)

    until next time, I don’t mind expert comments ok? 😉

  • Parenthesis

    Sometime back, I saw this relatively unknown Malayalam movie called ‘Calendar’, starring Zareena Wahab, playing mother to Navya Nair. Zareena’s character is widowed at 21 and she refuses to remarry since she wants to give all her attention to her child. The movie worked for me, despite it being built on the cliched “kid grows up, and gives more importance to her own life than her parent’s feelings”, thanks to a tight script and some neat casting.

    On the day I’m writing this, 3 works – one news item, one article, and one short story – appeared in my reading stream. The news was about a 107 year old woman left by her children, one of whom stays nearby, to fend for herself in a cowshed, the article centred around the topic of divorce and its impact on children, and the fiction work had to do more with marriage and infidelity, but with a neat twist in the end. Speaking of the end, I will link to them there, so you don’t escape this early. 😉

    I really didn’t need these prompts to write on the subject, since parenthood has been a source of constant debate recently, thanks to our parents aging and showing the first signs of serious aches and pains, even as we grow older and realise that the body also believes in keeping a low temperature of revenge for sins committed on it during the last three decades. 🙂

    Parenthood is one of those things that seriously lacks an undo feature, just like death, and is hence treated as a decision that merits serious thought. In general, the parents want the child to have a happy life and make choices on its behalf. Choices the child may not like/appreciate, but the parents believe to be the right one. They also make sacrifices for the child, in terms of time, money, and so on.

    But at least for debate’s sake, do you think these acts are always completely selfless? Isn’t brewing underneath it all a set of expectations? Sometimes parents see children as a way of fulfilling their own aspirations, sometimes they see them as support mechanisms in old age. Even if it’s none of these, or others you can think of, they at least get some pleasure out of seeing their child do well in life.

    But what blows me has always been that the parents get to make this considered choice of having a child and the child who is brought into the world and is the recipient of this and later choices, has zero say in the matter. It’s a serious product design flaw, and the only non-utopian remedy is for everyone concerned not to take each other for granted.

    As promised, the news, the article and the story.

    until next time, apparent traps

  • Thought Bubbles

    Compassion is a value I strive for, but that does not make it any less a strange thing. It doesn’t help that we are in an era where it has been simplified to a Like and an RT. But each time I mock that these days, I am forced to acknowledge that I have absolutely no right to get judgmental.

    In the case of personal relationships, where circumstances require me to show compassion, I have caught myself holding on to baggage, and playing judge on whether the people in question deserve to be the recipient of any compassion. I doubt whether it is supposed to work that way.

    With people I don’t know, I wonder if the miniscule I offer in terms of time, money, thought, energy will amount to any significant change in their lives. If it does not, how different is it from clicking a button and transmitting the message to an audience? Do they, after all, vary in intent?

    On both kinds of occasions, I have wondered why I am not able to go outside my bubble and do more. Perhaps I am afraid it will upset the careful balance I have created, afraid to tamper with the default detachment. One part of my mind cares, the other carefully weighs the pros and cons, shakes its head and moves on. I follow. Being unaware of the bubble is one thing, being aware of it and yet unable to do anything about it is quite another. Perhaps I have to first learn not to be judgmental about the self, but then I wonder if that’s what leads to apathy.

    until next time, kam passion 😐

  • More on the Uncertainty Principles

    Ok, so it’s not long back that I wrote about uncertainty, but in this real time world, I can’t blame myself for thinking of it on a regular basis. I wonder if it also has to do with the macro environment I grew up in – the typical 80s kid in India, whose ‘options’ across the board – from movie heroes to restaurants to soaps and television channels usually boiled down to one. (remember?)

    From my own experiences, I know it is possible even now, but it’s a choice and a very difficult one at that, and one that might be difficult to reverse later. An extended trip to Kerala sometime back- home, made me realise that there are those who have made that choice, or rather, have for some reason remained in a lifestyle with minimum choices. Belonging to an earlier generation, but who have refused to let the ever changing world rock their boat. It isn’t that the boat isn’t rocked regularly in their ‘small’ world, but the rocking seems to happen within a framework – as though there is some tacit understanding with the cosmos, a reward for not adding to the cosmos’ complications.

    Uncertainty has a permanent live-in arrangement with most of us, and now dictates the relationship so much that we take it as a given. I am not a comfortable partner, but for various reasons, can’t do much about it. I wondered what the future would hold. As is becoming a practice with me, I found interesting perspectives in the book I was reading – ‘The Mammoth Book of Short Science Fiction Novels’.

    Asimov’s “Profession” had a world where a person’s station in life, and life itself is dictated by certain tests he undergoes at 2-3 points in life – Reading Day, Education Day and every individual is slotted basis the result of these tests. (not exams, mental examinations which figure out the natural aptitude of the individual’s brain) John Jakes’ “The Sellers of the Dream” has a world where companies sell a ‘fashion’ for a season, which includes physical and mental changes done to an individual and changes his/her personality. But in Larry Niven’s “Flash Crowd”, one of my favourites, I sensed the best summation of our current status “For each human being, there is an optimum ratio between change and stasis. Too little change, he grows bored. Too little stability, he panics and loses his ability to adapt.”

    I wonder if this is timeless, and am not too certain that the last sentence on losing the ability to adapt is very encouraging.

    until next time, certain tees I can’t live without