Author: manuscrypts

  • Zoned Out

    On hindsight, I should have known it wouldn’t be that easy. A little over 150 days after Comfort Zoned appeared here, 2021 did a 2020 to me with a heart attack. Yes, literally. There is no hidden wordplay, as most of my friends assumed when I let them know! Should have done Anjuna to angina, since we had just returned from Goa the previous week! For someone paranoid enough to have done a genome-based preventive health assessment to detect and insure, this was insulting. I hadn’t expected it for at least another 3 years.

    Heart attacks seem to be common now, and I checked in and out after a 3D/2N (Columbia) Asia sojourn. But cliched as it sounds, I had a lot of time to reflect. More so because while in the ICU after the angioplasty, I could hear the man who lay opposite my bed, in throes of pain and anguish, trying to find some meaning in the life he had lived. Maybe he sensed something. He became silent in an hour, even as nurses and doctors frantically tried to save him. A few minutes later, a long beep was all that remained.

    It made me revisit the luxury (and privilege) of my comfort zone, and since this will be published after my second angio (done on a date that has other life-changing memories), I thought a good way for me to figure out the next chapters would be to frame the story so far.

    Money

    • D and I arranged our own marriage, and began our lives in Bangalore with a 1 lakh loan from Citibank. Everything that followed – the hard work, the decisions – was to prevent dependence on anyone. This is not an easy responsibility and probably what led to a scarcity mindset.
    • It has an effect on many things, including career choices i.e. how you make money. If I had to “follow my passion”, I would probably be a travel writer, try my hand at script writing, and maybe even aspire to blink-and-miss roles. But that’s a bet. You get paid a lot if you’re in the top 1%, but the world is mostly the 99% who didn’t. Instead, I chose financial security as my North Star, and thankfully marketing isn’t the most boring career. In terms of learning, it never stops, but the focus for 20s, 30s and 40s – explore, expand, and extract respectively. See, alliteration! It’s important to keep your side interest alive. 🙂 You’re fortunate if you manage to do both.
    • I think financial security is underrated – there is a trade-off, but it gives you the agency to lead the life you want. Even when you’re only moving towards it, you will become increasingly comfortable investing in things you like – in my case, books, travel, good food and alcohol, ridiculous decor… And I think, if/when you’re able to tame your ego and self image and get rid of delusions of significance, things become even better! The biggest trick in the book is starting early – compounding is an extraordinary phenomenon, and it needs time.

    Relationships

    • One problem with the scarcity mindset is that it also tends to define relationships. It was only after I got to a certain comfort level in terms of our “f*** you money”, that I even let most people in. Because early on, I had at least a couple of experiences when a friend/relative borrowed money, and only after a couple of missed deadlines told me about their philosophy of “Do I even have to pay you back?” That led to exits – money and relationship, and I became cynical about the value of relationships.
    • Only recently, I realised that the early mindset of being independent and not taking help might have caused a judgmental “not giving help” side effect. Funnily enough, this isn’t applicable to causes and the world-at-large, but instead, directed at friends and relatives (The intrigues of my empathy). I am still cynical, but more conscious of it, and its machinations.
    • Find and hold on to people who can give you non-judgmental company. It’s a treasure. I think you have to be lucky to find new friends in your 40s! That damn ability seems to shrink with age. And once you have made certain consequential and irreversible choices – the kind of apartment you buy, being parents (or not, like us) – it adds constraints. On a side note, I think folks who are parents are better at compromises and negotiations!

    Health

    • Back in 2006, I first came to know about my stratospheric cholesterol levels. Since then, in one form or another, I have been exercising five days a week. I love my beef and chocolate, and my rum and whiskey, but everything is consumed in moderation. But fitness and health are different things that we tend to conflate. Also, the genes have a will of their own, and despite reading a lot about it, I thought I could beat it with a diet and exercise regime. Nah.
    • Do yourself a favour and at least at 35, start an annual checkup habit. Yes, you might have to do trade-offs, but at least to me, being in control of the narrative seems like a better choice than a take-it-as-it-comes approach, because the latter also has an effect on your spouse/partner/family. One realisation is that we have a remarkable ability to normalise things, even those we thought we could never change/live without.

    Navigation

    A couple of things that are applicable to all three aspects above

    • Habits: Another underrated phenomenon. And they work as a force multiplier in both directions i.e. the good ones will give you superpowers, and the bad ones will pull the rug from under you. Take the time to understand what kind of person you are, and want to be. And build your habits around that. The caveat to that is moderation. For instance, I am a compulsive planner. The good part – I could guide D while experiencing a heart attack, because I had the scenario planned. The bad part – irritation when things don’t go according to plan e.g. not enjoying a vacation because the plan is chockablock. On a related note, it is in the nature of things to change. I can assure you that you will laugh at the things you decided/did when you were younger. In that context, acknowledge that habits will need rewiring too. To borrow from another context, “we first shape our habits, then our habits shape us”. A good idea to revisit them every once in a while, and look at them objectively.
    • Trade-offs: Many things in life are finite, include time and money. While “All I want is everything” is a perfectly normal stance, reality most likely will include trade-offs. Some conscious, and some that you realise only later. The higher the ‘conscious’ tally, the better I feel. You will need to find your own balance. A related application is in decision-making. A friend taught me to ask myself “how important will this be in five years?” For the past few years, my optimisation has been to give myself optionality, with a broad idea of where I want to be. Reality is a full contact sport, and there’s only so much control you have.

    P.S. A good book to read on many of these things – Morgan Housel’s The Psychology of Money.

  • The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life

    Erving Goffman

    I picked the book up thanks to a post on “backstage” based on it – the stage is where we present ourselves to the world, and backstage is where we allow our true selves to just be. The context was how “social media” was shrinking the backstage area because we are always on show.

    I wondered how a 250-page book could be written on the subject of “presentation of self”, but realised the depths as soon as I had read a few pages of The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life. How we behave in the presence of others is indeed a fascinating subject. Goffman uses the metaphor of a theatrical performance to explore the nuances and interplay that occur in practically every interaction we have. A dramaturgical analysis. This interaction need not even be with another specific person but just with the world at large. For instance, he uses an example of how we present ourselves when stepping out on to a beach – our facial expression, the book we carry (or not), whether we go for a swim (or not). Just as an actor uses techniques to present a character, we give performances in everyday life to guide others’ impression of us. The expressions we “give” and the impressions we “give off”. Many stages (contexts), many props (subjects we talk about, clothes we wear, attitudes, beliefs etc) for many audiences. I realised that some are so ingrained that I have to really “step outside” to catch it. 

    It gets even more interesting when we consider that others are also doing the same thing. This leads to intriguing dynamics. It not only means we have to sometimes co-opt them, but that we also play a role in their performance. Teamwork, which involves many rules – in performances within and without- that we must conform to, if we want to stay a part of the team. Familiarity, solidarity and a working consensus on individual roles and interplay all lead to the creation of the team’s “mythology”. The audience is also a part of the performance and without their tacit agreement, the show would fall apart. There is also a “definition of situation” that all constituents must agree on. This not only plays out in social gatherings, but in society at large, which expects its performers to play a role. 

    “Impression management” is a very useful takeaway from The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life. Reality and perception not necessarily being the same. Not that we aren’t doing it already, but the nuances, and perspectives on the tool-kits we should make for ourselves. The “expressive control” for instance, the lack of which might give away a the believability of a performance. While The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life has been written more than half a century ago and social interactions have changed a lot since then, including the explosion of non face-to-face forms like the internet, there is a lot it offers in terms of perspective, lessons and actionable insights. It is not an easy read, and I have had to re-read paragraphs and pages a few times, but it is definitely worth the effort.

    The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life

  • The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

    Bill Watterson

    I remember saving up credit card reward points for a long time and finally being able to afford this – more than a decade ago. It had a pride of place in my bookshelf, but I never really read it, mostly because I used to read the strips online and in newspapers. During the Covid lockdown, books weren’t getting delivered. It was the perfect time to pick up an all-time favourite.
    The set consists of four books, each around 370 pages. I didn’t read them in one shot, and took a break after each book. The first book begins with an introduction to the life, thoughts, and philosophy of Bill Watterson. It’s an amazing story of belief, values, and perseverance. Some of it did remind me of Calvin’s Dad. 🙂

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  • 2020 (1)

    First published in Adgully

    It’s technically a new year, but as the quip goes, it does feel like December 93rd 2020. More like a sequel than a new movie. Familiar characters and themes, with some new plotlines. And hence the title, for a short take on learnings in 2020, and the trends expected in 2021. 

    In light of the pandemic, what narratives are good for the brand?

    The consumer’s needs might not have changed, but the relative priorities, ways of achieving them, and expectations from brands most definitely have. At least in the medium term, health and safety (physical, mental and financial) will remain important themes. That would explain why many brands have attempted to hop on to these narratives. While it works easily for say, water purifiers, it might be a threadbare argument for mattresses and shirts. But yes, Ayur is arguably the most powerful four letter word in business now!

    The abruptness of 2020 has also given us time for reflection and recalibration. One of the related changes has been increased participation in societal issues. But a brand pursuing cause marketing because everyone else is doing it might result in some caustic feedback!

    What has also changed are rituals – commute to family time to entertainment and so on. The narratives might not have changed yet, but the contexts have. Social screening (movies) and Zoommates are all adaptations to these contexts. But soon, radical redesigning of products and experiences will lead to narrative shifts as well. 

    With chimeras all around, how do we frame it better?

    Many aspects of our life are chimeral now – still retaining their individuality, and yet to find the balance of a hybrid. Think about it – working from home, but recreating the office online. Digital transformation, and craving physical interaction. Learning new skills, while trying to avoid burnout at work. This operates at societal levels too. On social channels, we talk about being more empathetic. But we also have mobs that seem to have been born outraged! 

    These chimeral contexts have an impact on segments and personas, as well as how narratives can be delivered. If we go by Superbowl ads, humour is making a comeback, but we aren’t LOL yet. Brands are still playing Minesweeper because they, and their endorsers are susceptible to cancel culture. Even a logo needed to dress up because one person insisted we all share the perception! Narrative control is a chimera, an illusion. I expect brands to soon have influencers on stand-by to combat trolls and bots! 

    And if the action is everywhere, where is the narrative best delivered?

    “There is no mainstream, there are many streams”. With mobile screen time continuing to rise, and OTTs having a dream run, both branded content and product placements will spike. Even more immersive is gaming – you can have an epic life in Fortnite, and (ironically) join the war to save reality! But we are un-screening too. From podcasts to the ambient, and omniscient Alexa. Does your brand have an Alexa Skill yet? 

    Newer platforms offer further scope for narrative renditions in all forms of reality – mixed, augmented, virtual in addition to our normal agreed upon version. And as digital transformation accelerates, marketers are being empowered with automation and no code tools to deliver these. But the tech landscape is also rapidly changing with impending regulation, and privacy concerns. 

    We’re going through an era of institutional realignment – political, societal, financial and so on. The points I have made are more possibilities than spoilers. We might think we have seen this movie before, but we should wait for the release. Multiplex or OTT, you think?

  • Exhalation

    Before I start, I have to ask, when is the next collection coming out? Can’t. Wait. I read “Stories of Your Life and Others” about 2.5 years ago, and was blown not just by the quality of the stories, but by the sheer range of subjects from physics and mathematics to language and theism, not to mention artificial intelligence. Exhalation has nine stories, and each of them is a work of art.

    I tried to deconstruct Ted Chiang’s magic, and for me, it came down to three aspects – the imagination to think up the most original and profound questions, the skill to weave it into scenarios that make it relatable and accessible to the reader, and the ability to articulate his perspectives in such a way that one is forced to engage with them and construct one’s own thought exercises!

    “The Merchant and the Alchemist’s Gate” is Arabian Nights in terms of setting as well as nested storytelling but beneath all that is a dizzying tale of time travel that questions whether one can really change the past. “Exhalation”, after which the book is named, has an alien setting but with a dash of steampunk and robotics. The core of it though is what makes it profound – entropy and its inevitable conclusion. “What’s expected of us” is the first of the stories that deal with free will, and goes directly into the heart of it, with a first person narrative of one’s reaction when confronted with immutable proof that it doesn’t exist! The Lifecycle of Software Objects is an excellent take on artificial intelligence, with clear parallels to parenting, and the underlying thought that “experience is algorithmically incompressible”and that the “common sense that comes from twenty years of being in the world” cannot be achieved by compiling heuristics. The parenting theme continues in “Dacey’s Patent Automatic Nanny”, but in a different direction, definitely sadder.

    “The truth of fact, the truth of feeling” is simply brilliant, and has two stories that show the parallels when there is a fundamental shift in technology, both around memory. If I really had to choose, this one would be my favourite. The Great Silence is a poignant juxtaposition and a sharp commentary on what we’re missing out on by rampaging through other species. Omphalos is a very interesting take on creationism, and a contemplation of how it would be if humanity were really the reason for the universe, and were literally too, at the centre of it. “Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom” is the last story, and probably the most imaginative. It mixes parallel universes and free will, and delves into the meaning of the latter when many parallel “branches” (emanating from a decision) are playing out.

    No story is the same, or even similar. When I read some authors, I think to myself that if one really had to write, then this should be the benchmark. In speculative fiction – my favourite genre, Ted Chiang is that author!