He was shocked when he got the call from the CM’s office. actually it was a combination of two shocks, one that the cm of a state could blatantly ask for a bribe, and two, they had found out the truth about his activities…
it was all because of his girlfriend’s stupid idea… when they had got into the relationship, she was already an acknowledged star, and he was the star on the horizon.. the entire industry had heaped praise on his acting skills, and were sure that he would be the next big thing in bollywood… but alas, all his films had bombed miserably, and he had gotten coverage for all the wrong reasons…
in a fit of rage, his girlfriend had told him that the only reason she wasnt leaving him was that she didnt want the tag of a ‘fair weather’ girlfriend… she had a history of ditching her last boyfriend when he needed her most… but that didnt stop her from chiding him, whenever she got the chance… including saying that his theme song should be an mltr song that went ‘ i’m not an actor, i’m not a star’…. and after she had come back from the international movie festival and tongues started wagging about the hollywood role, she had become intolerable…
that was around the time when the tsunami struck… that was when she came up with what at that time seemed a brilliant idea… she told him that the waves had done their job, and since he wasnt exactly making waves in his trade, he should get some good pr coverage by doing some relief work.. and in her typical bitchy fashion, she had said that his going off would be a relief to her too..
and so he had gone to the inflicted areas, and since he wasnt exactly cut out to do relief work, he had bribed the journalists to do stories about him.. he still remembered how difficult it was to get the natural looking photographs and testimonials…. and now, that state’s cm had come to know about it, and was threatening to let the secret out..he decided he couldnt afford to bribe her, he would rather bribe the journalists again, to prevent bad pr…
it was all because of his girlfriend… from now on, he decided he would stand up for himself and be v.oberoi, and stop being what his friends teased him to
be – v. obey rai!!
until next time, sometimes stars get struck too
Author: manuscrypts
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Bollywood Dictionary for Dummies
actor: may land up in the couch for different reasons.
actress: the driving force on the couch .
blockbuster: a wonderful actress usually guarantees it .
behind the scenes: careful, thats where the news agency guys are..
climax: go on, pretend you dont know what that is .
call sheet:given to the actress/filmmaker to know when they are supposed to arrive and where .
camera: the filmmaker should always make sure there isnt one…
anti climax: when theres a news agency involved in what would have been a climax..
cartoon: thats what the filmmaker becomes if he gets caught .
casting: what they do after the couch .
casting couch: the couch used for casting .
chemistry: what the actress is supposed to exhibit on the couch .
costume: usually minimal .
credits: should be given for a good performance .
critic: they dont approve of the casting couch .
cross over: change in position on the couch .
cues: a good actress should always understand them .
debut: the actress’ first couch experience .
dialogue: the actress’ should be enticing, the filmmaker doesnt have any..
director’s cut: when the filmmaker is a director.
documentary: boring activity on the couch .
double take: please see take .
extras: only if the filmmaker insists. with good performances, they might be a threat to the actress.
filmmaker: the guy to please on the couch, most often producer, but could also be director. actor, and yes, even villain .
flashback: a feeling of deja vu for the filmmaker .
flop:a non performer, but the actress to be blamed, never the filmmaker .
frame: thats what the filmmaker claims when he gets caught .
industry: a collection of filmmakers .
in-the-can: the trip to the loo after the couch activity .
lip sync: ideally the actress shouldnt, but refer take .
make up: kiss before doing it .
method acting: when the actress has done it before .
miscast: the filmmaker’s excuse for a flop .
overacting: usually happens when the actress is faking .
plot: what the actress/news agency does to get the filmmaker on the couch .
preview: foreplay before the couch. usually only for big fimmakers .
release: refer climax .
remake: a repeat performance, usually happens due to lack of subject/actress .
screenplay: the activity on the couch .
script: a nitty gritty version of the plot .
slow motion: some filmmakers love doing it that way .
story: every actress has one .
take: you have to,if the filmmaker insists .
word of mouth publicity: what a blockbuster gets .
zoom: only deals with page 3 now, but would be interested in couch activities too..
until next time, Koffee on the Kouch??
