Author: manuscrypts

  • Clarity begins at home

    Maybe it’s a 40s thing, or maybe it’s just me projecting my top-of-the-mind thought on to others, but these days, ‘the place to retire to’ is a recurring theme in many conversations with friends. Once upon a time, in line with Pico Iyer’s “Home is not just the place where you happen to be born. It’s the place where you become yourself”, Bangalore was an obvious choice. A few years ago, Cochin got back into the consideration set, as I veered more towards who I was than what my self image was. The mind and its narratives.

    During a recent trip to Cochin, when a classmate described my school-self to D, I had a moment straight out of a Kazuo Ishiguro book. He is one of my favourite writers, and at least two of his books feature narrators with flawed memory constructions. In the books, it is fascinating to watch the peeling of reality against the narrator’s reconstructions. Ishiguro is kind, and usually brings the narrator down gently. In my case, I was first shocked to realise how I was like one of his narrators, and then pleasantly surprised at how my friend remembered me. Maybe he was being kind. But this isn’t the first time. When a similar recollection about me had happened with one of our other classmates during a reunion a few years ago, I had brushed it off as his false narrative. Because my own perception of who I was then was different. But after this, I realised that this was the key to Cochin behaving like a magnet!

    In Capital, Rana Dasgupta wrote – ‘when one becomes homesick, it is not a place that one seeks, but oneself, back in time.’ Despite my conscious mind’s narrative constructions, my subconscious probably remembers it more accurately. It remembers someone whose sense of humour did not have the cynicism that an adult life gifted it. Someone whose whistling skills seemed like magic to his friends because it was not self-conscious. Maybe, by pulling me back to a place, the mind believes it can also pull me back to a time and a self that was happy with itself. That him who I was.

    And maybe it’s not just that. Before I left Cochin, I made it a point to visit an old hangout. An aunt’s home. My mother’s cousin, whose granddaughters were roughly my age, but insisted on calling me ammava (uncle) especially in public. My memories of that place and my aunt, and these I am sure of because there are physical spaces that could testify to it, are ones I cherish and am deeply grateful for. The place and the person brought a sense of warmth and security to a teen life that was troubled by loss, and a mind that did not even realise it was unmoored. I see the afternoons and evenings I have spent there as an incomparable act of kindness. A refuge from the world at large.

    So maybe what drags me back to Cochin is a little more than who I was. It is also about those around me at a certain stage of my life. The friends who made me feel special. The people who made me feel secure. And places that are so deeply etched in my memory that it would be impossible to feel lost even now. Even as I realise that the places and people may no longer be around and that this construct is one that fits the current idea that I have of myself, I also think that somehow the mind will conspire to project an environment that can anchor me.

    P.S. As I began writing this, I had an intense sense of deja-vu. Very meta. I had gone through these thoughts before, I was sure. And indeed I had. That is somehow reassuring.

  • Atomic Habits

    James Clear

    Given that I read The Power of Habit a while back, and have been a subscriber to James Clear’s newsletter for a while, I should have read this a long time ago. But better late than never. 

    He begins by explaining how small changes can make a big difference over a period of time. Positively and negatively. ‘Habits are the compound interest of self-improvement.‘ Hence the word atomic – small, part of a larger system, and the building blocks of great results. 

    I think one of the best insights of the book is the three layers of behaviour change framework – outcomes, processes, identity. While most people focus on outcomes, systems (processes) are a better way. ‘ You do not rise to the level of your goals, You fall to the level of your systems.‘ But the best way is to focus on the ‘identity’ – the person you want to become. The first stop is to figure out one’s habits, which tend to be quite a few over a period of time. As per research, apparently 40-50% of our daily actions are habits. And many of them are not even consciously-created ones. A habit, as Clear brings up right at the beginning, is a routine or behaviour that is performed regularly – and in many cases, automatically. From an evolutionary perspective, ‘Habits are, simply, reliable solutions to recurring problems in our environment‘. And that means, nature has its own way of creating things that reduce our cognitive load. 

    He then proceeds to breaking down the process. The process of building a new habit (or getting rid of one) has four steps – cue, craving, response, and reward. Correspondingly, to create a good habit, make it obvious, make it attractive, make it easy, and make it satisfying (and their inversion to get rid of a habit). These make up the Four Laws of Behaviour Change. The remaining chapters are all about bringing this to life. From managing one’s environment to the role of friends and family, fixing procrastination, using commitment devices and motivation rituals, reducing friction, how to stick to good habits, and even automate them when possible. By the time you read the end of this part, you have a fantastic table that can be quite easily applied. 

    I liked the last 50-odd pages the most because of my own interest in the topics. The perspectives on the role of nature and nurture – ‘genes can predispose, but they don’t predetermine‘, and how to determine the game where your odds of success are higher. Habits are easier when they align to one’s natural abilities. ‘Boiling water will soften a potato but harden an egg. You can’t control whether you are a potato or an egg, but you can decide to play where it’s better to be hard or soft.’ 

    He also brings up the downsides of even good habits, the importance of reviews and realignment, and how one can break the beliefs that are holding one back. Becoming the best version of yourself requires you to periodically edit your beliefs and worldview, and expand your identity. 
    Some of the frameworks have been inspired by others (and Clear makes sure he mentions those) but through framing, easily relatable examples, and ways to implement them in daily lives, he makes application very easy. This is a must-read book, especially if you’re in your 20s and 30s. From experience, compounding is probably the most underrated phenomenon. The earlier you start, the better. ‘The costs of your good habits are in the present. The costs of your bad habits are in the future.’

  • The ordinary kindness of Mohandas

    My surname is very unobtrusive. It is present in all my official documents. It’s absent in my signature, and when I am casually giving my name in say, a form, I stop at my middle name, which exists courtesy Kerala’s matrilineal ethos. The surname’s modest behaviour is apt for the person it represents.

    (more…)

  • #Bibliofiles : 2022 favourites

    As I was telling D one day, books are probably the only constant in my life. The earliest ones I have is from the 80s – Amar Chitra Katha. The books I read and the person I am have a correlation, though it’s difficult to establish the direction of causation. And so, continuing from 2019, 2020, and 2021, we have this year’s list. The shortlisting gets tougher as the years go by, so I will add my other favourites on the theme in [these]! From the 56 books I read this year…

    (more…)

  • Dublin & beyond – Part 2

    We spent very little time in Dublin after our first day, and made day trips to The Cliffs of Moher + Galway (Wild Rover Tours), The Ring of Kerry + Killarney (Railtours Ireland – part train, part coach), and Belfast Titanic + Giant’s Causeway + Dark Hedges (Finn McCools Tours).

    See/Do

    When the lights go on in Dublin
    Officially The Spire. Unofficially Stiffy on the Liffey!

    The Cliffs of Moher

    Quite breathtaking. You can take short or long walks along the cliffs.
    O’Brien’s Tower
    Beyond the tower…
    Repeat, because it never gets boring!
    Dunguaire Castle?

    Galway

    We spend a few hours walking around Galway
    A pretty, pretty place it was.
    The Galway Girl, in person
    Galway had a charming Christmas Market
    Things were just getting started when we visited

    Ring of Kerry

    This entire landscape (McGillyciddy Reeks, Dingle Bay, Kenmare Bay, the Killarney National Park, Ladies View, the lakes, as well as the villages – Glenbeigh, Waterville, Sneem) is extraordinarily beautiful in a way that the camera really couldn’t capture. It also seemed a little underdeveloped (relatively) from a tourism perspective, and that’s a good thing.

    The Red Fox Inn, situated right next to the Kerry Bog Village Museum, the first attraction in the Ring of Kerry tour.
    Waterville Bay
    Whitestrand. There was a postcard at every turn.
    Around Upper Lake, Killarney
    Torc Waterfall

    Killarney

    Killarney is another quaint town that we just wanted to hug! It plays host to the citizenship ceremonies – the final step to becoming a ‘natural’ resident of Ireland.
    Just so colourful and pretty!
    Everything you need, packed into a few streets
    I thought a famous time machine had malfunctioned, but apparently this is a health initiative.

    Giant’s Causeway

    There is a rugged beauty to this place.
    That’s a UNESCO World Heritage Site you’re looking at
    Difficult to recognise it, but this is Dark Hedges, famous in another world as King’s Road. #GoT
    Gracehill House, built around 1775

    Belfast

    The most bombed hotel in the world.
    Titanic Belfast, the place where the ship was built
    Now a museum. While that’s done well enough, I admit to being a little queasy about converting a tragedy into ‘Disneyland’.
    Belfast reminded us more of Glasgow than Dublin.

    Eat/Drink

    Some great Ice-cream to be had at Murphy’s. This was shot in Killarney.
    But we had the ice-cream in Galway. This is Whiskey Chocolate.
    Recommended by our guide for whiskey tasting
    A good old-fashioned pub
    Helped me choose the whiskey to buy.
    D tried the Irish Coffee but wasn’t very impressed. But then, she is neither a whiskey person, nor a coffee person. I think it has its uses.
    The place we stopped at for lunch during the Ring of Kerry tour.
    Somewhere between a pie and a stew
    Fish and Chips need no intro
    The homemade pudding that we absolutely loved.
    If whiskey is your thing, then a visit to Palace Bar is in your interest
    Salmon in Dublin
    Our last dinner in Dublin. This was recommended by all the guides as the local hangout. Absolutely loved the vibe and the service.
    This place is an absolute TARDIS. You would never be able to guess the amount of space it has from the outside. Just goes on and on!
    What better way to end than a Guinness and an Irish Hot Whiskey.

    I thought Ireland had a raw, unspoilt beauty to it, which stands in contrast to the finesse that Scotland’s landscape has somehow acquired. If we do visit again, and we do want to, we would spend a few days each in its smaller towns.