IMO, Season 4 of Mad Men really took it up a notch. I think it’s because the human condition started showing up much more than before. Episode 6 – Waldorf Stories – offers quite the example. <spoilers> To quickly give context to the non viewers, a flashback shows how Don Draper, the show’s lead character and a fur coat salesman then, was hired by an inebriated Roger Sterling (partner at an ad agency) years ago. Don rises right to the top, becoming a partner at the new agency that Sterling, and others form. When the agency wins its first award, Roger feels entitled to an acknowledgement from Don. When he doesn’t get it, he asks for it. Later, in the same episode, Peggy, whom Don ‘raises’ from secretary to copywriter, also feels entitled to Don’s acknowledgment of her contribution to the award winning ad. In the first instance, Don is gracious and acknowledges Roger’s hand in making him what he is, but in the second, he is furious at Peggy.
It made me think of entitlement. I have read many an article about the millennial generation’s sense of entitlement, but maybe it’s not a generational thing at all. Maybe, it’s just that this generation expresses it more than others, and this is being documented much more courtesy the web. A point of difference is probably what is being asked for – opportunity (millennials) and acknowledgment. (earlier generations)
If I have to look at it objectively, I think I have been very comfortable providing the acknowledgment but relatively grudging about opportunities. There have been instances in my life, where a person’s single positive act – words or deeds – changed my life. (the first 2 paras here, for example) I like to think I have always been thankful and shown it. (I have been wrong about that too though) On opportunities, I have a tendency to cling to a “deserve before you desire” line of thought. If I go deeper, I also think that this is all the more prominent when I feel a lack of acknowledgement from the other person when he/she asks for an opportunity.
That reminded me of the double watchers of the mind I brought up in Ego Message – what others perceive of me, and self perception. Arguably, the latter is what I’d call my ego. It is that ego which demands an acknowledgement, and sulks when it doesn’t get it. How does one get over that? In this fantastic post “Stop Worrying About How Much You Matter“, the author makes the point that we cling on to being relevant and mattering, but as we grow older, we need to master irrelevancy. It is extremely difficult, but he says that the silver lining is freedom, and the opportunity to become a fuller version of who you are. As with a lot of other things, maybe there is sense in making an early start on this too.
I think Don Draper’s observation holds true for the self as well. There is something within us that tells us who we are, but we ignore it because we want to be who we want us to be.