I always equated happiness with peace of mind. That having one automatically meant having the other. I somehow doubt that now.
Does happiness come from going after what you’ve wanted, irrespective of the roadblocks that appear before you? And does peace of mind come from an acceptance of things happening around you and to you?
Would you have peace of mind if you tried your best and still not got what you wanted? Would you still be happy then?
Would you be happy to get what you wanted irrespective of the sacrifices you had to make, and the paths you had to take? Would you still have peace of mind then?
Do you think they are the same? Or does the presence of one immediately dispel the other? If there had to be a trade off, what would you choose – happiness or peace of mind?
until next time, mindful happiness
i dont think they are the same Manu. peace is when you are “okay”, neutral. happiness is positively displaced and sadness negatively. 😀
But that’s just how i set up my ontology. these things are so subjective, arent they?
yep. quite subjective, especially given that many a time, not much of thought is put into words or their usage. and yes, ‘used to’ for me 🙂
i think happiness leads to peace of mind.
I’m not so sure of that. Or the reverse.
actually i never equated both. peace of mind is what ive chased all my life. while happiness comes in easy bursts, peace of mind is more long-term and tougher to conquer. i consider the latter more as a mature acceptance of sorts..embracing the present and everything that comes with it..the good, bad and the ugly. it requires more maturity and also perhaps surrender of greed. happiness, on the other hand, is about short-term fulfillment and immediate gratification. i might feel happy buying clothes for a boy shivering in the cold, but till i find him shelter and possibly provide for livelihood, i doubt id have peace of mind..that image would haunt me. similarly, i could be in peace about not being able to afford a house though i might not be happy about not owning one. but that wouldnt necessarily make me unhappy as i have closure on the issue. makes sense?
then there’s joy which is a different sensation altogether, that which you could also find in excruciating agony. no bdsm reference that 🙂
p.s. – manu, replicating the above comment here from @chupchap’s shared item on reader. thought we could carry forward the discussion here. in response to my above comment, you wrote:
-beginning of your comment- yes, the difference i knew as i wrote, but do we do this trade off a lot and how do we decide? what we (agree with you) see as maturity, is that a ‘giving up’ as equated to failure?
In a meta way, peace of mind coming from the realisation that we can only get happiness? -end of your comment-
to that, i would say ‘giving up’ only builds frustration, not peace of mind. the latter would come from a spiritual state i would think. happiness is more material. as for how do we decide..i think one can only look inward for those answers and how we take the state of happiness or peace of mind forward. i was very happy working where i was earlier. heading a great office, huge team, excellent bunch of clients, challenging work..when i moved on, it was a conscious decision to live life on my own terms and not ever having ‘top management’ to deal with. i also wanted to spend more time with family. in the process i gave up a lot of money, position of power and benefits. what started as a trade off of happiness for peace of mind actually resulted in me eventually getting both. there have also been times when peace of mind just wasnt enough and i have yearned for shots of happiness. it’s perhaps this trait that also leads to extra marital affairs and flings on the side even when one has a stable peaceful relationship going.
no complete answer there. i guess it’s one of those subjects where one could only draws one’s own definitions and conclusions based on individual experiences and needs. to me, the road to peace requires some sacrifice of happiness in the beginning.
thanks surekha. for myself, happy to hear two pointers – one, that it is possible to have both; and two – that it requires some sacrifice in the beginning. the latter is perhaps an indication that I am on a decent track. 🙂
on the ‘giving up’, is it possible to add a qualifiers to the giving up – ‘conscious’, ‘willing’, does it lead away from frustration?