Month: July 2006

  • Prince to star in RGV’s film

    In a fitting climax to the tale that started on 21st Jul, Prince, the boy who got stuck in a tubewell while playing with friends, and thereby got the nation’s audience to get stuck on to the picture tube with timely assistance from various news channels, has been signed on by the famed Bollywood director Ram Gopal Varma.

    Prince, who is thrilled about his meteoric rise in popularity after his relatively smaller fall, has already received grants from the state and central governments of Rs. 2 lakh each. In addition, a couple of news channels have also promised him a sum of Rs. 7 lakhs.
    In an exclusive interview, Prince has expressed his happiness at being signed on by RGV, ” I am extremely thrilled at this opportunity. After the incident, everything in my life is suddenly falling into place. I had immense faith in God and the media, and i always knew that there would be a lightat the end of the tunnel. I cant talk about the film details as Ramuji has asked me not to, but i am undergoing a fitness programme to get back into shape. You see, i was fed a lot of milk, chocolate,biscuits etc during my ordeal, and over two days, i had become a bit too fat. In fact that was what had made the rescue a bit difficult.”
    When asked if he was concerned about the fact that RGV dropped his actors after hyping them, he had this to say, “He does so only if they dont fall into line with his thinking. But that wont be a problem for me since i have proven my falling skills.”
    RGV, who makes no bones of his obsession for Mumbai’s underworld and its characters, has confirmed the news, and was more forthcoming in an interview. “Yes, its true that i have signed on Prince. I am planning to make a prequel to my film “D”, which was a prequel to my earlier film “Company. I will be tracing the making of a criminal from his childhood days. Because of Prince’s close brush with the underworld at such a tender age, i feel he is ably suited to play the character. In fact, i have boiled down to a couple names for the film – Three’s Company (since this is the third episode), or e (C for company, then D, and so… also i might be releasing it only on the internet. I am already in talks with You Tube for that.). I have also got the rights from the English rockband Dire straits for their song ‘Tunnel of Love’, ‘How Deep is your love’ by Take That, ‘Falling into You’ by Celine Dion and ‘Deeper Underground’ by Jamiroquai, which will all be used in the film. Talks are also on with Deep Purple and Deep Blue something for more songs. Shooting will start any time now.”

    News has just arrived that RGV already has signed Prince for the remake, as he expects the original to get panned by the critics.
    until next time, Prince, how charming…
    Disclaimer: This work is just a product of the author’s imagination, except for the money and the Food and beverage bit.

  • Carry on Doctor

    Any of you remember the ‘Carry on’ series? Old stuff, but used to get repeated on the movie channels, till the ‘latest movie on your screen’ wars began… Hilarious stuff, made you laugh till your jaw hurt… Only, my jaw started hurting a few days back without me laughing..
    now, i usually treat myself pretty well (yes, very funny, i knew that was coming) with the regular stuff available in medical stores, but this one proved a bit too complicated, particularly since i had a lot of (cliche/wisecrack) reasons thrown at me… like
    Me: My jaw hurts, at the junction of the ear and the jaw
    Friend: Judging by your intelligence, your wisdom tooth is long overdue
    or
    Me: Am not sure if its a wisdom tooth or an ear infection
    Colleague: yup, all that empty space in between, something’s bound to happen..
    Another Colleague: Hear hear!!

    Yup, i do get plenty of help, and anyways, after trying out simple home remedies like Crocin, Iodex at the joint and an innovative method of rubbing amrutanjan on an earbud and poking it into places where no bud has gone before, i gave up and decided to take some professional help…And the doc was the biggest wisecracker of them all…
    Unlike the modern day, cold, “show me the money” kind, this was an older, wiser doc with the most cheerful disposition i have seen from a man still at work at 8 pm on a Friday night…So from asking me whether i had recently encountered any nuts that were tough to crack, and almost making me believe that i should sneeze with my mouth closed, inspite of the risk of my eyes popping out (which he assured me could be done) he kept me entertained …
    And if he had any inkling of the real reason my jaw hurt, this might have been the conversation…
    Doctor: you know, its good to learn early in your marriage to treat your wife with care.
    Me: Agree Doctor, but why…
    Doctor: The junction at the beginning of the jawbone is very sensitive….
    until next time, dont drop your jaws…

  • Item Bomb

    Rakhi Sawant created a stir of sorts by announcing that she would be championing the cause of freedom of expression after the recent site banning controversy. When asked whether this was just another publicity stunt, she had this to say,
    “Ever since Aamir took up the Narmada cause, i have been looking for issues to raise. It is only now that i have got something meaty enough to hold my attention. It is not my intention to blow anything out of proportion, but some things need to be done to lift the morale of the poor bloggers who have been affected. In any case i dont have any realeases planned soon, so why would i want any cheap publicity? “
    When asked how she was qualified to tackle such a relatively geeky issue like blogs, she responded thus,
    “It has nothing to do with technology. It is the principle of the whole thing. I have been avictim of the authorities curtailing my freedom of expression, whether its on screen or on stage. And so i feel i am well qualified to do these kind of exposes before the public.”
    When asked whether she knew common blogger concepts like RSS feeds, she quickly shot back,
    “Of course, they are one of the principal reasons why i am supporting the cause. It was the same guys who were feeding the media during my stage show which caused so much of a controversy. They should stick to politics and not do moral policing.”
    She terminated the interview abruptly when a reporter asked whether she preferred Type Pad,
    “This is the problem with media people. You give them some freedom, and they start asking you personal questions. It is none of your business what……”

    until next time, only item, no bomb!!
    Disclaimer: This work is just a product of the author’s imagination.

  • The Day the World changed

    He experienced the first attack in his own route, in his own regular starting point… he was lucky not to be scarred for life… his mind was in a turmoil, it had never happened to him, he had heard about such things happening in other parts of the world, and to other people, but this was his regular haunt, a place that was almost a second home to him, where he spent time everyday..it couldnt happen here…
    he blinked and looked around to see if he had been dreaming.. a few glances and a couple of questions later, he was sure that it was very real indeed.. but he was still in denial.. he tried calling a couple of people or sending sms.. he partially succeeded and got in touch with guys from other locations as well as guys further ahead on his own travel route.. it was happening everywhere, and everyone was affected…
    he didnt quite know what to do.. honestly he wasnt prepared for this kind of stuff, and he wanted answers.. who had done this, more importantly why… he got the answers a while later – LeT, SIMI, and this was only a reaction.. but hell, how in the world was he connected, what had he done to deserve this… he, along with all the others who had been affected, was just going about his life..he didnt know who to blame and how to react… of course, he could join the entire gang and condemn and send mails and demand explanations, but the damage had been done…
    but there was something he could do, he promised himself that when it was all over, he would visit every single person he had been acquainted to in his route, and tell them how much he feared for them while all this was happening, and how much he missed reading them…so from cynic and anz and aqua to the monk and joe and everyone in between, i am dropping into share the grief we all went through 🙂
    7/17 shall always be remembered as the day when our worlds collapsed..

    until next time, as if writer’s blocks werent enough!!

  • Main shaayar to nahi…

    magar jabse maine padha isko, mujhko shaayari thodi si aa gayi!!

    and so

    agar blog ke ban ne kiya hai aapko pareshaan,
    to thoda PK blog karo, sab ho jayega aasaan!!

    until next time, eat, drink and blog…