Month: August 2003

  • The fifth p

    As the title implies, this post is going to have a lil bit of marketing in it. I read an article in the Economic Times, so i thought i’ll riff on it here – The four P’s in marketing by kotler are famous enough, and there have been several wannabes trying for the fifth position, like ‘people’, ‘packaging’ etc, but this one takes the cake. It is very Indian, thats why i loved it – it is the ‘paanwala’.

    Brands are now competing with each other to make their presence felt in the small paan dukan -from fmcg co:s like HLL and Nestle to telecom players like Hutch, everyone wants to be in a paan shop, and in the process, the old paanwala is slowly being phased out and he is being replaced by the new paanwala dude who himself is a walking promotion, sporting Reebok, Levis, RayBan etc…..read more

    I was slightly skeptical about putting the bihar stuff yesterday, but it got a good response..and yahoooooo, it’s the weekend, two days of solid nothingness, only a lil shopping. Meanwhile, guys in Bangalore and Mumbai, tomorrow, watch out for WorldSpace’s ad in TOI and Bombay Times respectively and give me your feedback. So happy weekend people, enjoy yourself, take care and be back on monday for the latest edition of manuscrypts…what’s left is

    manuscrypts trivia

    just a lil dig at management… 😉

    Put eight monkeys in a room. In the middle of the room is a ladder, leading to a bunch of bananas hanging from a hook on the ceiling. Each time a monkey tries to climb the ladder, all the monkeys are sprayed with ice water, which makes them miserable. Sooner enough, whenever a monkey attempts to climb the ladder, all of the other monkeys, not wanting to be sprayed, set upon him and beat him up. Soon, none of the eight monkeys ever attempts to climb the ladder. One of the original monkeys is then removed, and a new monkey is put in the room. Seeing the bananas and the ladder, he wonders why none of the other monkeys are doing the obvious, but, undaunted, he immediately begins to climb the ladder. All the other monkeys fall upon him and beat him silly. He has no idea why. However, he no longer attempts to climb the ladder. A second original monkey is removed and replaced. The newcomer again attempts to climb the ladder, but all the other monkeys hammer the crap out of him. This includes the previous new monkey, who, grateful that he’s not on the receiving end this time, participates in the beating because all the other monkeys are doing it. However, he has no idea why he’s attacking the new monkey. One by one, all the original monkeys are replaced. Eight new monkeys are now in the room. None of them have ever been sprayed by ice water. None of them attempt to climb the ladder. All of them will enthusiastically beat up any new monkey who tries, without having any idea why. And that’s how any company’s policies get established.

  • Behind every succesful blog…

    so, finally there is a comment section for each post….and its not the s/w guy in the ofice who’s behind it, but my very own personal sweet wife…she has been insisting that this template has a comments option and i have been vehemently refusing…now she has another point on her side when we dicuss computers, software and all the stuff thats in the same jungle……
    saw darna mana hai, good concept , but one of the worst climaxes ever…. he did it with bhoot, and now with this….wonder when he will get out of the bad climax genre… ;-)i got a thought from one of aftab’s dialogues, my wife thinks i have gone loony, its an abstract question, ” when a guy runs a race alone and finishes it, is he first or last”…
    theres an ok article on rediff about netiquette, catch it here…there are things turning up in all the places they shouldnt be, an unmentionable in stew, pesticides in coke , and pepsi and most of the other soft drinks…and that still leaves their sales unaffected!!, read it here…the new joke on colas are that there is a whole lot of demand for them in punjab , kerala etc, farmers are stocking cans and bottles to use them as pesticides….if you have an opinion on the race last sunday, especially if you are a staunch williams fan, have your say here…and finally in
    manuscrypts trivia
    its from bihar….DRIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHARUMNOTE: If you dont know the answers, please copy from another applikasonphorum and submit. For further instructions, see bottom of applikason.Please do not shoot the person at the applikason kounter. He will giveyou the license immediately.Last name: (Yadav/Sinha/Pandey/Mishra/do not know)First name:( _ ) Ramprasad( _ ) Lakhan( _ ) Sivaprasad( _ ) Lalooprasad( _ ) Dont know(Tick in appropriate box)Age:( _ ) Less than gero( _ ) Gero( _ ) Greater than gero( _ ) Don’t knowSex: ____ M _____ F _____ not sure _____ not applicableChappal Size: ____ Left ____ RightOccupation:( _ ) Politician( _ ) Doodhwala( _ ) Pehelwaan( _ ) House wife( _ ) Un-employed( _ ) GoondaSpouse’s Name: __________________________Relationship with spouse 🙁 _ ) Sister( _ ) Brother( _ ) Aunt( _ ) Uncle( _ ) Cousin( _ ) PetNumber of children living in household: ___dozNumber that are yours: ___Mother’s Name: _______________________Her Husband’s name: _______________________(If not sure, leave blank)Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)Do you ( _ )own or ( _ )rent( _ )or forcibly occupy your home? (Checkappropriate box)___ Total number of vehicles you own___ Number of vehicals that still crank___ Number of vehicals in front yard___ Number of vehicals in back yard___ Number of vehicals on cement blocks___ Number of vehicals on four legsFirearms you own and where you keep them:____ truck____ bedroom____ bathroom____ kitchen____ shed____ WaistModel and year of your vehical(s) _____________ 194_Do you have a gun rack? ( _ )Yes ( _ ) No; If no, please explain:Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to, though you cannot read,( _ ) Champak( _ ) Indrajal( _ ) Chacha Choudhary( _ ) The great Bihar Dairy( _ ) Blank sheets___ Number of times you’ve SHOT a political leader/policeman/anybody___ Number of times you’ve SHOT another person exactly like you ___Number of times you’ve SHOT yourself.(SHOOTING YOURSELF IN MIRROR ISPOOR SHOOTING)Do you bathe?( _ ) Yes( _ ) No( _ ) Not applicableIf yes, how often do you bathe?( _ ) Weekly( _ ) Monthly( _ ) YearlyColor of teeth:( _ ) Yellow( _ ) Brownish-Yellow( _ ) Paan Brown( _ ) Black( _ ) Others – Give exact color (call nearest Asian Paints dealer if Udon’t know the color of your teeth) :______________( _ ) Not applicableHow far is your home from a paved road?( _ )10 miles ( _ )20miles ( _ )don’t know what road is____________________Your thumb imparesson(If you are copying from another applikason pharom, please do not copythumb impresson also. Please provide your own thumb impresson.PLEASE DO NOT USE FINGERS OF YOUR LEGS.Use thumb on your left hand only. If you dont have left hand, use yourthumb on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb on lefthand.NOTE : IF YOU DON’T HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DRIVE

  • Faithfully Yours

    guess what, jethrotull won out in the battle between the corrs and john denver…for those who are doubting my sanity, that was about the cd i bought yesterday..a couple of days back, i read a good article about something called ’emotional infidelity’…basically relates to people who are committed already spending a whole lot of time or devoting a lot of mindshare to others, especially of the opposite gender (if that applies, hehe)….it might be people at work, chat friends, blogpals , whatever..the author feels that if i do spend that extra amount of time with any of the above, i am exhibiting emotional infidelity…. he even says that if i happen to share a joke with someone of the opposite sex without first checking it out with my wife, i am being emotionally unfaithful..a lot of the stuff is overboard, but it does give points to ponder..what say, guys??
    those monkeys at manchester united are now selling off veron to chelsea, read all about it here…and check out the actual beginnings of terminator here…..now for
    manuscrypts trivia
    “This is an actual letter of resignation from an employee at Zantex Computers, USA, to his boss. His boss apparently resigned very soon afterwards!”Dear Mr Baker,As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. Afteryour consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and myself during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time. Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time,but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of “cut and paste” for the …….hundredth time.You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective astelling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will. You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof ofthe Dilbert principle.Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender myresignation; however I have a few parting thoughts.1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is “I prefer not to comment.” I will have friends randomly call you overthe next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your “favourites list”, which Iconveniently saved when you made me “back up” your useless files. I do believe that terms like “Lolita” are not usually viewed favourably by the administration.3. When you borrowed the digital camera to “take pictures of your mothers b-day”, you neglected to mention that you were going totake pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you thatthose have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please. I hate having to correct your mistakes.)Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!SincerelyDarryl Brewer

  • Exact vs Abstract

    i will most prob buy a cd today, but am finding it difficult to choose between john denver and the corrs.. i know, the genres are different, i have listened to a couple of songs of both, so….will share the other point that is inspired by a ‘spark’ from ‘india unbound’..unfortunately the author does not give a great deal of space to it in the book…it is to do with exact vs abstract….we pursue the study of exact (science) more than the study of abstract (art)…maybe because it is more difficult to make our mark in the latter, and only when we make a mark do we get some monetary returns on it….but in the former, we dont need to be extra special to make money…but i envy americans coz they somehow manage to pursue their dreams, i am speaking in generalities, but if i sing reasonably well here, i wouldnt try all my best to do that, it is subjective but i am speaking more or less for a majority of indians …. i think it is do with a lot of factors – culture, attitude, conditions…..i hope we can reach that stage one day, coz if our work is based on our passion, we will be successful and happy, right??thats it for today, heres
    manuscrypts trivia
    just a forward i got…TWO TOUGH QUESTIONS Question 1: If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion? Read the next question before looking at the answer for this one. Question 2: It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates. Candidate A – Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He’s had two Mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day. Candidate B – He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening. Candidate C He is a decorated war hero. He’s a vegetarian, doesn’t smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife. Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first, no peeking, then scroll down for the answer. ANSWERS Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt. Candidate B is Winston Churchill. Candidate C is Adolph Hitler. And, by the way, the answer to the abortion question: If you said “YES”, you just killed Beethoven. Pretty interesting isn’t it? Makes a person think before judging someone.

  • Our kinda modern

    first up, a very happy friendship (yester) day to all of you…though to be honest, there shouldnt be a day for this, friends are forever… oh, well, those poor archies guys have to find ways to make money, dont they..hehei have finally finished ‘india unbound’, and am now reading roald dahl’s supposedly best stories, and to be very honest, after 110 pages out of 360 odd, it still hasnt delivered the kind of stuff it promises on the back cover, so it is not on my medialist…!!
    there are some guys outside my office protesting against the government for something, regular stuff in india, but the difference today is that they have stripped down to their undies…hehe, gives a whole new meaning to ‘india unbound’..yeah, speaking of that book, stll a couple of good points to share…one, about our concept of modern….our modern is mostly ‘western’… whatever is accepted there gets accepted here too…. from pizzas to music videos, oit is ironic that there is a jam packed crowd for every performance of indian maestros in the west, but here, its is only a niche audience….i dont think quality is the chief criterion we employ when we choose goods, services or whatever, there is basically a bias towards whatever is western, and thus we tend to kill whatever is homegrown, yes there are brands that survive, but i believe they entered the indian consumer’s brain before the concept of ‘western-modern’ came about……the other point, tomorrow’s post….meanwhile
    manuscrypts trivia
    “If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.” – Carl Sagan