{"id":9047,"date":"2014-04-02T10:39:07","date_gmt":"2014-04-02T05:09:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/manuscrypts.com\/test\/?p=9047"},"modified":"2021-01-30T11:35:08","modified_gmt":"2021-01-30T06:05:08","slug":"i-wont-be-the-judge-of-that","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/manuscrypts.com\/test\/2014\/04\/02\/i-wont-be-the-judge-of-that\/","title":{"rendered":"I won’t be the judge of that!"},"content":{"rendered":"

A few days ago, S wrote to me that she was going through my old posts and was\u00a0delighted to find lower caps for ‘i’ , font change for each blog and heavy and careless use of ellipses after every three sentences<\/em>. The background is that in my professional life I am a stickler for error-free content. Even until a few months ago, I’d have been irritated at myself for this and despite the painful process, would have gone ahead and corrected each post! In fact, as I told her, I had even considered this once. I occasionally refer to my own posts when I’m writing new ones and once, sometime last year, I happened to read one from 2008, with all of the things that S mentioned and more! That’s probably one of the first times that I implemented something I’d been wanting to for quite a while – stop being judgmental and to be comfortable with myself – past and present.<\/p>\n

There’s a back story to that as well. My judgmental nature had been on an ascendant for quite a while, and coupled with a temper and wit\/sarcasm, I realised that I was hurting people. As is my wont, I analysed a bit and figured that at the base of it was the fact that I was extremely unforgiving of myself. Since I drove myself to those levels, I took a higher ground and berated others when they didn’t live by those standards, across various life situations. I also understood that the work had to begin internally before I could manifest it to\/on others. It wasn’t easy to forgive myself in the beginning, but I got the hang of it gradually.<\/p>\n

\"KR\"<\/p>\n

(The Kite Runner)<\/em><\/p>\n

This was, and continues to be, a bit tricky. How does one maintain objectivity when being kind on oneself? When does it slide into laziness? The way I deal with it is to try and understand the relative importance of an incident in the larger scheme of things. Carrying it forward to other people was a much easier task, especially when I paused for a moment and made myself understand that behind every behaviour there is a story. The challenge here is to make sure others don’t take advantage of the new found benevolence! If you’ve gotten thus far, you’d be able to handle it.<\/p>\n

During a recent offsite, my current boss said I was one of the most unflappable people he knew. Huge compliment, and one I totally cherished, not only because of my history in this context and therefore my progress, but also because I actually think he is one of the most composed people I’ve come across! This also allows me to bring up a related subject – praising others. One of the side effects of being harsh on myself was that I became stingy with praise. I think it was\u00a0Surekha<\/a>\u00a0who first pointed this out to me. In Em and the Big Hoom, I saw some lovely words, and have tried to live by them.<\/p>\n

\"EATBH\"<\/p>\n

“Anything else makes you less<\/em>.” That’s probably a judgment right there, but we’ll let it pass. These days, I try to praise – not for the sake of it, but by being a little more open to it. I also try not to judge. Even if I do, I keep it to myself, and make it as transient as possible. In the era of Twitter, this does become quite challenging! It is still a work in progress, and most likely will remain that way always, but I like to think that I have gained some ground. The mantra these days is<\/p>\n

\"quote-Wayne-Dyer-when-you-judge-another-you-do-not-42355\"<\/p>\n

until next time, judge dread!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A few days ago, S wrote to me that she was going through my old posts and was\u00a0delighted to find lower caps for ‘i’ , font change for each blog and heavy and careless use of ellipses after every three sentences. The background is that in my professional life I am a stickler for error-free […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6052,1479,412,6268],"tags":[4455,1236,4456],"class_list":["post-9047","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-choices","category-thoughtstream","category-life","category-self","tag-em-and-the-big-hoom","tag-judgment","tag-understanding"],"aioseo_notices":[],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/manuscrypts.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9047","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/manuscrypts.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/manuscrypts.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/manuscrypts.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/manuscrypts.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9047"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/manuscrypts.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9047\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15511,"href":"https:\/\/manuscrypts.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9047\/revisions\/15511"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/manuscrypts.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9047"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/manuscrypts.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9047"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/manuscrypts.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9047"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}