“You can either be judged because you created something or ignored because you left your greatness inside of you. Your call.”
James Clear
In an earlier post – An impulsive path to freedom – I had identified my own self image as a barrier to the freedom I desire. I wonder if it’s because it’s something I constantly think about, but I saw interpretations of it across a couple of pop culture phenomena I consumed recently.
In The Disciple, the protagonist is Sharad Nerulkar, a classical vocalist who has dedicated his life thus far to music. He tries to create a mindset, and live a life according to the principles of his guru, and his guru’s own legendary guru Maai, who advised perseverance, sacrifice, and surrender, and scoffed at commercial success. Simplistically, a “journey is the destination” approach that is practically spiritual. But despite his best efforts, Sharad is unable to reach a standard of success he has set for himself. Recognition by aficionados is also part of it. In an excellent scene, set in a bar, Sharad learns from an chronicler, the shortcomings of his guru and Maai, both in the context of their music as well as their life in general. The shattering of his idols is a shock to Sharad and he throws his drink on the person’s face. His entire self image – as that of a person who was following the right approach to music and life – was jolted, and his own self-doubt that he is the 99% (and not the 1%) in his field adds to the complication.
In The Devotion of Suspect X, one of the main characters – Ishigami – is at the other end. A maths teacher, he does not need anyone to acknowledge his work. Even though he was part of the academia, he was content – as long as he knew which peaks he had discovered, that would be enough. In the book, he does engage in a battle of wit, but self image does not have a major role to play. He is probably in the 1% but doesn’t care.
Both characters – Sharad and Ishigami – are essentially loners, devoted to their craft. But they are opposites in both abilities and expectations. A simple 2X2 matrix of abilities (1% vs 99%) and expectations (1% vs 99%) would have Ishigami in the 1,1 quadrant, which I think is rare. Usually the talented 1% would also want the acknowledgement (99). Even the less talented like Sharad would fall in the 99,99 quadrant, seeking acknowledgement for their limited ability. And then there’s the 99,1 who probably realise their limitations and if they do pursue their vocation, do it for their own happiness and not for acknowledgement.
Some of the the 99,99 make their peace with it and redefine their life such that their work, and thus their self image, becomes a small part of their identity. In The Disciple, Sharad marries, and understands the small joys of becoming a parent. He also starts a record label business around his favourite music, creating collections of his favourites.
But that’s not the only path. Some remain in the 99,99 quadrant, where they seek acknowledgement. By the sheer framing of the 1:99, there are more Sharads in the world than Ishigamis. And among them, I think the ones who seek acknowledgement are the huge majority. When they find their own talent not capable of the task, they might look to the collective to create an identity stemming from belonging, so that the pains of the self image is assuaged. And that could lead to at least a couple of directions.
In a hyperconnected digital world, we are increasingly able to bond via affinities. As Tina He writes in her fantastic post titled The New Frontier of Belonging 1 the “places” we belong to are beyond geographical boundaries. She quotes Philosopher Zygmunt Bauman‘s insight that the deepest contradiction of our time is“the yawning gap between the right of self-assertion and the capacity to control the social settings which render such self-assertion feasible.” This is now creating different collectives who share a worldview and can make social, political, and economic impact. She gives the example of Snowden’s NFT bought by a DAO for $5.4 mn to to benefit the Freedom of the Press Foundation – seamless coordination among anonymous strangers who share the same purpose. And the tools that help them do this are exploding. NFTs might look like a silly craze now, but blockchain applications are only getting started. At what point will DeFi help create a business in the real world based on say, hyperlocal demand? Or maybe it already has! And when and how will it affect politics, law and order and every other intermediary in the system of the world?
On the other hand, there would also be a set who would have narratives of why they didn’t succeed. More often than not, it would involve another person/system/group as the reason. Rising automation and unemployment, and wealth disparity all add to the damage. To assuage the damage to their self image, they find a broader canvas that they can be part of. A cause to follow, something larger than themselves. Its rise is their rise, and every insult is personal. A simplistic explanation to the *ist (nationalist, casteist) politics we see around.
“The will to survive evolves, in a higher creature like us, into the will to matter.”
Rebecca Goldstein
It’s in our nature to seek belonging. In parallel, the image management software that’s the mind compels us to find a narrative that supports our self image. As the gap between the 1% and 99% (skills + economics) widen, the latter will struggle further to find dignity, let alone relevance. If carrying them along is not a choice the species makes, they cannot be objectively blamed for the consequences either.