A new kind of privilege

A couple of weeks ago, we visited a newly opened eatery in Bangalore. Something about the crowd made me observe it more. It seemed like this was a set completely different from the kinds I usually see during restaurant visits. It took me a little while to understand why I felt so, and when I did, I remembered the nuance I had discovered only a year ago.

“Privileged, not lucky” Now that’s a nuance I hadn’t thought of. I have used the words interchangeably.

— manu prasad (@manuscrypts) June 25, 2015

In the restaurants/pubs I visit, I usually see people like me. The ones who, irrespective of career highs they might have scaled, have to go at it daily with the business of life. They are curious for new experiences and/or are eager to climb a rung or two, and see such places through these frames. In both cases, they are ‘visitors’. But there is a different crowd I saw here –  a set of people whose body language – a certain kind of composed languor, and the way they behaved with each  other, reflected a sense of belonging. I consider them privileged.

Privilege can be of many kinds. In this Breaking Smart newsletter, Venkatesh Rao writes about three overlapping kinds of elites – socioeconomic, cultural and cognitive – based on wealth, prowess in some skilled activity and a growth mindset respectively. Privilege is usually seen on a relative scale, and it is only in the recent past I  realised that whatever little I possess is because of the first two – my parents were able to give me a middle class upbringing and education (socioeconomic) which placed me in a position to develop skill sets that gave me cultural privilege. ‘Cognitive’ played a part much later, and not by design, I’d say. My career ‘drive’ came from seeking cultural privilege, and once I experienced even a bit of it, I was a) underwhelmed yet b) eager not to lose it.

A couple of months ago, Ricky Yean wrote about Privilege & Inequality in Silicon Valley. While I have not really grown up in poverty, I could relate to this post, and mindset inequality. As he says, there’s a lot of buggy code in my head because of all the battles thus far to get that cultural privilege.

I realise now that my folly has been the fixed mindset, which assumed that when I earned the cultural privilege, it was forever. The work now is all on cognitive privilege, and it is unending. It isn’t easy at all, especially given the above baggage.

There is a quote that I find very appealing in the context of privilege –

I have intellectually believed in it, but the behaviour (mine) I have noticed is the tendency to look further up, not down. With both socioeconomic and cultural forms, I have sensed a reluctance to share, because I considered them zero sum games, and consequently developed an insecurity/fear of losing something. (the reason I behave like a ‘visitor’ in that eatery is because I see it as a temporary socio-economic or even cultural privilege. Imposter syndrome, if you will. When my mindset changes, I will be able to view the ‘belonging’ much more dispassionately) What I like about the growth mindset is the sense of freedom it has given me – not just in terms of what I can do, but also in terms of how much I can share. I haven’t really gotten rid of all the baggage, and the materialistic considerations of the daily life are still a challenge, but I now have a vague understanding of how to live my path, see life as the infinite game it is, and be at peace with it.

P.S. I read the newsletter after I wrote the previous post (Work, Parenting & the Monoculture) I can see some concept similarities, and that’s heartening!

P.P.S. If you like House of Cards, here’s a little something I did with that quote 😉

“….and crush those wannabes trying to claw their way up!” ~ Francis Underwood 😉 @HouseofCards pic.twitter.com/X5KFqzwtVj

— manu prasad (@manuscrypts) March 18, 2016