The thought started with a tweet of mine sometime back- “if some of my twitter friends lived geographically closer, my real social life would rock too :|” At least one blogger and now microblogger seemed to think so too. Why Twitter friends? Because on Facebook, and earlier Orkut, its mostly reunions or keeping in touch with those you already know. They are what i call contextual friends – made by us at some point in time at school, college or at some workplace. Their relevancy decreases with time and space. Yes, that is generalisation, and I do have a way of coldly analysing it. Humour me 🙂
Blogging and Twitter work in a different way. You guys read this blog because you like the content, or you have to laugh twice a week at how a guy exhibits his lack of writing skills so blatantly to the world. Anyway, the majority of you do not know me from reality. Now increase and decrease the number of characters (people and letters respectively 😉 ) and you get Twitter. So in the case of blogs and twitter, you first get to know people virtually, and if all works well, you perhaps might meet up really. Now, in my case, except for a few meetings (that i can count on one hand) and one blog meet (which reaffirmed that I shouldn’t be attending them) I have kept my anti social record quite clean. 😀
But the Twitter statement came because I’ve come across at least a couple of people on Twitter, with whom i have vibed splendidly. While it started off in my characteristic guarded manner, over a period of time, I’ve been able to be truly me, and not do anything for acceptability, with them.
Let me elaborate a bit on this. In reality, we befriend people with whom we have a few things in common. There are some traits of theirs which we don’t particularly like, but since the net takeout is positive, we continue the relationship. Some of us, knowing that others dont like a particular trait, play it down in front of them, to be more acceptable. This is something I’ve grown to hate, and which along with my occasional penchant for “Hey, spade”/switching off, would partially explain the decrease in my real social activities.
In reality its very difficult to tap people on their back, ask them ‘hey, are you interested in bollywood, F1, spirituality, music….and subscribe to certain views’ and then have sensible discussions, where we can even agree to disagree. I think virtuality makes it easier, but the snag then, is geography. The other snag is that it will push me deeper into the anti social shell, because now I know kindred souls exist, albeit far away.
until next time, i still agree to a bit of socialism though 🙂
and on the blog today ‘Faces in the crowd’ https://manuscrypts.com/test/?p=1410 🙂
Interesting post.
Although I think when people live closer by, in reality, you see less of them. A bit like when you live in a country, you become blase about its charms. It is far from ideal but real life does not allow frequent pinging that Twitter does. The logistics becomes nightmarish. I find I talk* more on the phone with my best friends (in Delhi, London, Silicon Valley, Chicago, Montreal) than when they visit. We get distracted by stuff to do and to eat. In the last few years, I have seen all of them equally (in)frequently although you’d think the London friend would have an advantage but she does not.
The diff between Web 1.0 and Web 2.0 is that the latter provides context in a way that Web 1.0’s idle chatter did not. Remember the other day when I said I see Twitter as Chat 2.0? And you disagreed? 🙂 Well so in that respect, Twitter and blogging allow for better and slow-burn acquaintance which promises better social opportunities albeit infrequently, but always more pleasant since we already know one another’s quirks.
*Most of my friendships are predicated on conversations – short and long but intense, informed and analytically heavy.
Good post.
Totally agree with every bit.
-Nikhil
I think it depends on the person as well. I am generally a loner, though I also have the “need to know” everybody I come across. So, though I may know a lot off ppl, I very rarely become part of a social circle or a coterie of friends. More like a transient from one group to another, depending on how recent the last interaction was.
good post! reiterates why i come here to get my almost daily dose of gyan, (good or bad) 🙂
i think the fact that it is a virtual friendship it becomes easy to get to know him/her better and the mental blocks are fewer.
I dont know its all that different u know – at the end of the day its meeting people who are on the same mental plane.with net you are not hampered by the geography ( viz, you meet ONLY people who happen to live in that particular area). so the world is your oyster. but having been an online junkie for close on eight years now, i suppose u get both kinds.
Well, I have a decent social life with the people I randomly meet, but somewhere, I am not *dying* to tell them things like I do to my online friends.
Strange, but I also feel that we take people in the same geography for granted, even if we have something in common. I share a much better relationship with them online with some of my friends who can be considered contextual, as opposed to when we meet.
I guess.
shefaly: hmmm, maybe, but its subjective too… and at least you have the option of meeting when you want to..
nikhil: thanks for the pundit link 🙂
arby: i can totally identify with that 🙂
suma: yes, virtuality does help that way
cynic: hmm, i think meeting people really does add a different dimension
mo: that is decent enough, a far cry from the binary stuff i was talking of.. 🙂